The Road Out of Tehatta – Part VII – Exit Procedures and The Memories That Be

Today is Mahalaya, the 19th of September 2017. As I sit in Kolkata and the evening turns to night around me, Puja fever is in full swing. There are a few more days to go before my own holidays begin, but they’ve already begun in Tehatta. For the people on the other hand, it would not be so much Durga Puja as the Laxmi Puja that follows. Nobody could explain why the latter is more important there, but it is. My colleagues, of course, would not be in Tehatta, but in various districts of the state, or even outside. There they would be celebrating in their own way, even as I enjoy these holidays in my own style. Tehatta would celebrate in one way, my colleagues in their own ways, me in my own. But when this season dies out, they will return to Tehatta, and I will still be here, in Kolkata.

The choice of course, was always my own. It is stupid of a young man to say that the decisions he makes in life have been foisted upon him by circumstances. No matter how much I whined about folks at home wishing me to work close to my residence; no matter how much I talked about needing to stay in Kolkata to do my PhD; no matter anything else- the fact remains that I wanted to return to Kolkata, and did so. In fact, from the very first day I went to Tehatta, I knew that one day I would want to return and return after having achieved something.

I don’t know if I did manage to achieve anything. Yes, my bank balance appears a lot fuller. Also, my heart is full of memories, only a few of which I have pasted in my blog. But those were not what I had been sent there for. Did I really manage to help the students who studied there? Did I, with my faltering Bengali and poor knowledge of these students’ needs, really manage to do better than what someone who has risen from their background would have done ? Was the PSC right in reposing faith in a person like me -full of high concepts but with little grasp of reality ? I don’t know.

But Tehatta tolerated me, and grew on me. And when I chose to leave, I did so knowing full well the decision I was making was my own. I had my reasons, and explicating them here will not cork the bottle of nostalgia that is overflowing right now. Tehatta could have left me behind quickly, and if it did so, I would not have developed the memories I have. It could have stayed with me for so long that I would have made it a semi-permanent part of my life. But it did neither, or rather, I didn’t allow it to. Hence, I had joy and learnt a lot but also had a constant understanding that I was often counting the days till I would get a chance to move closer home. Such is life – it forces you to develop bonds before asking you to break them and move on.

With all these conflicting emotions, I must pen the last part of this series. One of the easier ways to do this would probably be just to enumerate the facts. I’ll start with those. You see, back when I had applied for PSC, I had also applied for CSC, the service that recruits teachers for sponsored colleges. But the interviews for the latter dragged on indefinitely – an entire year in fact – and when they concluded, it was another couple of months before I got my counselling. Still more months passed before the interview took place, and another before I could formally join the new institution. In between, I ended up spending half a year in Bhawanipur and a year and a half in Tehatta.

But it was never clear that I would be able to leave. Colleges in Kolkata – which I was aiming for – were pitiably few compared to the demand, and chances appeared slim. I didn’t know that I would secure a decent rank and due to a number of factors including my competitors’ preferences, would manage to secure an interview at one of the most reputed colleges of the city. Neither did I know that I would be selected, or that I would have to wear my sole (and soul) out getting the release from my Tehatta service. I didn’t know any of it, and so the service in Tehatta was focused on Tehatta only, coupled with the occasional googling of CSC to see if any updates had been posted.

As my service in Tehatta collapsed in a series of visits to Bikash Bhavan to obtain the release orders, I became acutely aware that very soon I would no longer be heading to Tehatta. No longer would I be planning my tickets well in advance, or chewing my nails wondering if I would get a seat in the unreserved compartments if the booking status turned up as “Waiting”. No longer would I make 5 hour journeys that sucked the juice out of my bones, but allowed me to experience Tehatta in all its glory. No longer would I be a member of the West Bengal Education Service, and be counted as a gazetted officer. I would lead a different life, albeit under the same education system of West Bengal.

It was then that I conceptualized the idea of penning my ideas. Even before I had obtained my final release orders, I was wondering what all I would pen down. Starting my writing in June, I kept working through the monsoon months. Today, in late September, with three months already done at my new institution, I am at the final stage of the series.

In this time, a lot has happened. My colleagues knew that I had been selected, and coaxed me into telling them that I had opted for a college that had an interview stage. When I got through the interview, they knew it was only a time before the Kolkata boy returned to Kolkata. And so it happened. I put in my papers and began the long process of obtaining the release. Thankfully, it was May by the time I put in my papers, and the academic year was almost over. I had finished my course for the two years (the third year didn’t exist yet) well in advance, and the students didn’t suffer. In fact, they were hardly coming to college at all after April. Since the time was so short, I didn’t tell them face to face that I was leaving. I don’t know what their reaction would have been, but somehow it required a little more courage than what I could muster. Maybe because this leaving was no transfer – I was leaving because I wanted to. How do I explain that ?

Anyhow, Tehatta didn’t demand much of me in my final days there. There were Part III exams going on, and this meant we had to go for invigilation on specific days. That was fine, for it gave me time to run around Bikash Bhavan. But it also meant I was hardly ever staying there, since the invigilation days were hardly back to back ones. My Tehatta experience had been curtailed already, and this added to the nostalgia. As my colleagues ran around and planned for the next academic year, I felt I was in limbo – waiting to leave one place but not knowing anything about the new one. I knew I had to leave, but I wanted to leave on a better note. Better in what sense? I couldn’t tell, but I guess a perfect goodbye doesn’t exist.

I gave up my camp on the last day of May. Economic logic told me that I hadn’t been staying there for over a month, and there was every possibility that I would get my release within June. It simply made no sense to hold onto the rooms for another month. I had already told the landlady of my intentions (disguised as transfer – why did I do that?). This fulfilled the one month notice requirement. True, I could have gone back on my statement at any moment, but then again, why should I ? Life was takin me away from Tehatta, and I simply had to go with the flow.

One day before the final one, I had been given invigilation duty. That, unbeknownst to me, was the last full day of work I did at Tehatta. It was awfully dull, staring at students and occasionally confiscating study material from them. This gave me occasion to roam around the campus, and marvel at all that had changed since I had arrived. We now had beautifully whitewashed walls, a gate with tiled designs, an entire second floor that was almost complete (sadly, as of writing, it is still not in use from what I hear), grounds that had been decorated (though exactly for what still remained unclear) and a functioning canteen. It was still dusty, and the halls were still quite empty. I had believed that one day these would be filled up. Maybe they will be, but I wouldn’t be there to see it.

As I roamed around, I also noted the classes and the small things that had made up my life as a teacher in Tehatta Government College. For one, the first room assigned for history classes was Room No. 3. It was the same number as the classroom where I had studied as an undergraduate student in Presidency. That Room No. 3 had become an icon of our existence. I couldn’t say whether this room would have the same impact on my students, but it had a special relevance for me nonetheless. This, despite it later being turned into  the Chemistry lab, and the history class being shifted upstairs, and then again because a smart classroom had to be created.

Another small but lovely part of my life was my locker number. Back when I had joined, there were far more lockers than teachers,  and I had a good amount of choice. I chose one on the top left, and didn’t notice the number at the time. Much later, while sorting the keys, I noticed that it was no. 86. The address of Presidency College was 86/1. Strange, but another part of my own undergrad life seemed to have appeared in Tehatta.

These small bits and pieces received their last ovations from me as I prepared to leave. Rules demanded that I hand over everything I had taken from the college, and this included locker keys and the lockers themselves. Naturally I did so. I also returned books that I’d borrowed – books that had often helped me more in my research than the books in RKM or other noted libraries. I also began answering questions about my impending departure in a stronger affirmative.

After I had wrapped up the exam, I began wrapping up camp. And there was a lot of wrapping up to do. For someone who had lived with the express belief that this camp could not be turned into a full-fledged home away from home (see an earlier part of the series for details), I had accumulated a lot of stuff. I packed up as much as I could on the night of the 30th of May, and informed the landlady that I would be leaving the next day. The mini truck that was to carry my stuff back arrived late, and we had about an hour or so to complete all the remaining packing and loading. This was duly done, the folks sent with the truck acting with miraculous (and reckless) haste. Over that one hour, I found innumerable things that I had only known existed but never bothered to actually use, and now was carrying back in mint condition. I also realized that most of my stuff had been sourced from Kolkata, which I had been aware of but still marveled at when it was all being packed up.

Packing done, I paid the remaining money to the landlord, officially bid them well and removed my locks from the doors. The landlord informed me that he already had a person waiting to move in in early June, and so I need not be sorry about leaving. I nodded, half in relief and half disheartened to know that my camp would soon have someone else living in it. The truck revved up and set off. I checked things again, then headed out for the last time. My days of survival in Tehatta – insofar as they involved living in camp – were over.

At that time, I believed I would be going to Tehatta more than once before finally bidding goodbye. But it was not to be. Between running to the new college, heading to Bikash Bhavan and dealing with other matters, I didn’t find any time to go there beyond what was utterly necessary. And so it happened that I turned up there only after I’d obtained my release orders, and only so I could get the college release from the OIC. That done, people wished me well and I was heading back to Kolkata again, not sure when I would visit Tehatta next. The students weren’t there that day, but one of them called me as I was just getting home. Blissfully unaware that I had left, he inquired about the exams and how he should prepare. For a moment, I wondered whether I should tell him that he won’t have AM sir when classes resumed. Again, I choked and cut the call.

Thankfully, the folks there didn’t forget me, and instead planned one last hurrah. In July I was informed that a small meeting was being organized. I knew it was a farewell ceremony, a farewell ceremony for the youngest member of the staff there. The date was fixed as 4th of August, and I confirmed that I would be going.

This time, I made the journey purely for nostalgia’s sake, and clicked more photos than I had done during the entire two years. No longer was I photographing for the college website, nor for facebook. These would be memories that would be mine and mine alone, and I wished to capture everything before they slipped away.

I was greeted at the college with a lot of enthusiasm, but also some sadness. But nothing prepared me for the farewell itself. I had seen farewells before, but they had always been for people who had served long and had become pillars of the institution. I had barely served for a year and a half. Yet here I was, being spoken of in terms that made me feel warm and also somewhat embarrassed. I was being given bouquets and gifts befitting a senior teacher. I was the center of attention from teachers whose farewells I’d expected to attend. But instead, I was the one leaving.

At the end, it was my turn to speak. I’m not a great speaker, except when I’m discussing history and am in class. Or outside class. Talk history with me for hours, and I’m game. But ask me to talk about myself or some other topic, and you’d be lucky to have a dozen words from me. But on this day, words flowed. I wanted to say a lot, but held back a lot too. Even then, I spoke for a good twenty minutes, speaking of what Tehatta had given me. I spoke of how it had taught me how to handle a lot of things I would never have learned if I hadn’t joined. I talked about how it felt to be part of a budding institution instead of being bogged down by heritage. I spoke of my experiences with the staff and how I probably wouldn’t get such a staff room again.

Yet at the very end, I had to admit that the decision was mine. I had wanted to leave, and so I was leaving. It was no compulsion, but my own free choice. That said, this was the best staff room I’d probably get in a long time, probably never again. It sounded like a contradiction, but I was simply being honest. It was a contradiction, and if I were to smoothen over things, I would be lying on the very last day. That contradiction, in fact, has still not been solved and now, since I have made my decision and face its consequences, I wish to hold onto it for old times’ sake.

And so I left for the last time. We had booked a vehicle, and could all go together. This made for compelling chatter, some on the current situation, some on people’s theatre, some on Sunil Gangopadhyay and some on the meaning of academics itself. These were conversations that daily college life didn’t permit, and I was happy to be part of one, my last one in this setting perhaps. But beyond that, I watched as the fields rolled by, and wondered why I hadn’t noticed their beauty before. I had seen them enough, and had marveled at some of the jute harvesting techniques, but never at jute fields awash in the glow of the dying sun. Maybe there was a metaphor hidden in there, one that my unpoetic mind couldn’t grasp. Whatever it was, that journey back was one I would remember for a long time.

This brings me to the end of my reminiscing about Tehatta. I could talk about a lot more – I could speak about the students and their pros and cons, I could speak about how people outsmarted the Indian Railways to get seats on the 4:26,  and how scandals and controversies didn’t spare Tehatta entirely. But let’s not pen every thought down. Let’s leave something for the mind to chew on,  and for me to tell anyone who would be interested. Maybe my grandkids, if I do have them.  But given how great a listener I am, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were more into talking with their girl/boyfriends than talking to an old man like me.

But anyway, Tehatta is over. I’m not going back, except maybe if some document is needed at some time. I’m never working there again. Maybe I’ll pass by, or even visit for a seminar. But that would be it. The Tehatta chapter in my life is over, and it brings mixed feelings with it. Diving back into the realm of feelings would make this already 3000+ essay even longer, and make for a still more intolerable read. So let’s not. But I can say this – Tehatta taught me a lot, both as a person and as a teacher. From my ability to speak Bengali,  to my understanding of the needs of students from semi-urban and rural backgrounds to my surviving in a new place and becoming accustomed to the ways of the countryside, everything is due to Tehatta and Tehatta alone. I just hope I have been of some use to Tehatta too.

 

The Road Out of Tehatta – Part VI – The Roads That Be – Part II – The Journey From

When I’d started writing this series, I hadn’t imagined that I’d be at Part VI by the time I actually came to the part that seems  to symbolize the title. To be honest, “Road out of Tehatta” doesn’t really mean the highway that leads to  Krishnanagar. It means a lot more than that, as would be obvious from the previous parts. And this part is by no means the last. Yet I’m writing this, so it must have something to do with the title right. Right. A lot with the title.

You see, Mersault takes the bus back to Algiers with a sense of having to get back to work. The bus I took back home, on the other hand, was one that took me away from work. It took me away from the free life of hardship and glory to the comfortable one that I had been used to for all my life. It also took me away  from the simplicity of life in Tehatta – where everything existed in a binary of survival and work – to the far more complex existence that was, and is, Kolkata. The city, or the megapolis as I call it, included my research, my social life (including my girlfriend) and a good amount of other things that I didn’t have to worry about in Tehatta. I was moving towards a complicated comfort.

Not that I regretted any of it. Moving towards home is a theme that has been romanticized by many poets, not least by one of my favourites, Amy MacDonald in her “Road to Home”. Timeless classics like Caledonia speak of coming home from faraway places, a feeling not very different from what I felt while heading back towards the city.

In fact, in a way I felt I was moving back up the ladder of civilization. Before you begin thinking that I’m disparaging Tehatta for being uncivilized, I’m not. I’m simply  saying that life there is not so complicated. In my scheme of things, my college would be located in a village, amid lush green fields and little else. Then I would come to Tehatta proper, a town that had the ambitions to become something much greater. Then came Krishnanagar, and other cities like Ranaghat and Barasat, which were cities or polis. They were large bustling beasts, but none could compare with the highly complex queen, Kolkata. Kolkata, no matter where you lived in West Bengal, was the core of everything, the megapolis.

Most people living in the megapolis harbor a singular dichotomy between the city and the village. This is why they try to take kash-flowers and place them in fancy earthen pots in the middle of a bustling city. Sure, the same is done in villages. But in villages, such flowers can be found in the vicinity. They don’t have to be artificially implanted in a setting that long forgot what nature truly looks like. Again, they head into the villages for picnics during winters. Here they post lovely stories about the heritage of Bengal, her unique culture and the way centuries have passed with little change. Oblivious to how governments, policies and even seasonal changes constantly keep village folk on the edge of their beds (and beds they are, not charpoys), these city folks speak of the timelessness of the villages, harbouring all that is good in society, against the corrupting influences of the city.

Such people are whimsical idiots. But once I was one such idiot, believing that the village was just a polar opposite. I have never been particularly interested in villages for their timelessness, to be honest, but I was still part of the mold. And I remained part of the mold as long as the journeys I took involved air-conditioned coaches with pre-fab meals and desperate attempts to connect to the internet so I could reach facebook or whatever the fuck I wanted to access.

These journeys to and from Tehatta however, were different. For one, I wasn’t simply travelling between two well-known destinations. Rather, I was moving from a small place, to a bigger one, to a still bigger one. So I had to understand each place and make it serve my ends. This was especially important because time was vital.  People heading to the villages can stop and admire the fields all around them if there is a jam on the highway. I found little to admire in lush green fields, and anyhow seen too many such fields to be particularly impressed by them during jams. More to the point, I probably had the next day, and the one after that, already planned out and a delay meant I would be reaching the city late. If I did so, I’d end up on a different train, and everything else would be delayed.

This was so especially because the journey from was somewhat different from the journey to. For one, I usually returned with some of my colleagues. These colleagues weren’t fixed, since they also went to different places at different times, and would join me according to their itinerary. What I actually got was a revolving cast of people, each with their own preferences and ideas about how the hidden forces behind the transportation system worked. At first, I saw them as beacons of knowledge in a vast desert of danger – danger to timings and physical energy reserves that is.

As time went on though, I soon realized that some folks’ conception of time was a bit too rigid for me. I needed some amount of comfort. This was the reason why I had chosen to stay in Tehatta for part of the week. So hanging onto overhead rods in a bus chock full of folks, or getting knocked about by vendors and passengers on a busy train while holding onto the clothes-holder shaped overhead supports, was just not my cup of tea. Naturally, the details of the journey back evolved along with my ideas (and those of my co-travellers).

Initially, I used to book the hazarduari back to Kolkata, ensuring that I reached the station by 7pm, when it arrived. I intended to take a quick rest at my camp before heading out to catch an evening bus. Things quickly backfired though, and I  found myself rushing to Howlia to get a bus that would take me to the station in time. And I barely made it in the end.

Thereafter, I junked the idea of taking a quick rest and instead decided to head back home just after finishing college. Initially, this meant catching the Bama-Khyapa, or one of a number of special buses that had a reputation for getting you to Krishnanagar fast. Almost all of these were of the Karimpur variant, and depending on the time, you had to catch the bus, irrespective of the crowding involved. On  some days, such crowding was excessive and it was a mighty pain to dance to the bus’s tune in a cramped setting.

In fact, the very first time I headed back from Tehatta, I learned what crowding can do to you. I had to submit my salary documents to Krishnanagar in order to initiate my salary payments, and had been allowed to leave the college somewhat early by the OIC. I took a toto to the bus stand (PWD it was I think) and caught a bus to Krishnanagar. Back then I used to carry two bags – my old backpack and a bag in which I carried clothing  and other necessities of survival. On this occasion, the bus was super-crowded, with the conductor assuring me that a seat would be found for me sometime, at some stop. Being rather credulous, I boarded and managed to place the backpack in the overhead holder. But there was no place to keep my clothes bag. For one whole hour, I was forced to hold onto the bag as it slid under me, surviving curses from my hand and anyone who wished to move up or down the aisle.

Such experiences were repeated later as well.  As I learned though, asking people where they would disembark and keeping your bag as light as possible were among the few things you could do to make your life a little easier. Also, you could try and catch buses that would not coincide with the school closing periods. That could be earlier than the school timings or later, depending on how much  work you had on that particular day. Much much later, I also learned that you could catch the Palashipara buses from Jitpur more itself, and get a much better chance of landing a seat just after embarking. Eventually, I settled for the Chandana, a yellow and green beauty that allowed me to avoid the school rush and also ensure that I reached in time for the train.

Coming to the train, I realized that getting the Hazarduari after catching a train with my  colleagues meant waiting at the station for anywhere between 1 and half to 2 hours. This was clearly not an optimal way of doing things. To push things up from the sub-optimal, I began catching local trains. They were marginally cheaper (a lot cheaper in fact, but at those prices, everything does seem marginal). Trouble was, you could catch a train at 4:26pm and then one at 6:32pm.  Between them was the Lalgola Passenger, which was a royal pain to be in. For one, the train pulled in chock full of people who stayed on and made you navigate the aisles with the expertise of a gymnast. Getting a seat on the Lalgola was akin to winning a state lottery, and naturally, people like me were seldom even on the drawing list.

As time went on, I also realized that the 4:26 had the same problems.  For one, it attracted horribly large crowds, and getting on them was a veritable battle of champions. People who wished to climb up had to stand on either side like gladiators entering the ring, as those already on the train got down. Then there would be the stragglers, who (barring children and women) would be dragged down and tossed away. Now the real battle began. The most athletic pranced into the coach and rushed to catch the best seats (and reserve as many as possible). Next came the second rung – people like me who were young, could do a fair bit of wrestling but didn’t have the skill needed to be at the top. We pushed in after them and rushed to take the middle seats. The remainder – the old, the infirm and anyone who had chosen to stand anywhere except the exact place where the coach doors stopped – had to clamber in at the end and get the “fourth seat”, ie the one where half your ass is on the seat and the rest is dangling dangerously off the edge.

The 4:26 was the clearest example of this. On days when the masters of the race were in the hunt and were on my side, I would get a rather decent seat. On days when they weren’t and I had made it to the station well in time, I would get a decent seat. On days when neither checked out, I would be sitting on the fourth, wondering when one person would leave and I would get to move up. Not that that always checked out. You see, Indian trains don’t have a charter of manners. So, people getting on after you would “reserve” seats one through three and when one got off, you still remained on the fourth. I’ve done my fair bit of fighting to civilize these idiots, but in a country where you get to ride a train legally by paying just 43% of your actual fare (as declared by the railways themselves), how much change can you expect?

Anyhow I realized that even with all these problems, the 6:32 was a far better option. On more than one occasion I could get a window seat even without being a pro local train boarder. Even when I did not, the cooler climes of the evening and the generally more laid-back attitude of fellow travelers made it a far more pleasant journey. This was, in terms of trains, the ideal to be aimed for.

If that failed, there was the 7:22pm train. This was an even less crowded train,  since there was wide consensus that people with families should not get home later than 9 in the night. On  this train, fighting for window seats was far less, and unless you wanted to actually get hold of the window seat in the direction of the train, you wouldn’t have to fight at all. People lazed around and looked detached from the goings on around them, as if resigned to the berating their wives would inevitably give them for getting home late. Or maybe they didn’t have wives, and instead were casually wondering if they had enough stocks of alcohol in order to imagine the company they might have had if they had checked all the social boxes up to that point of their lives. Or they were like me, who were wondering whether the train would move fast enough for me to get to the metro station in time for the 9:55 metro out of Dum Dum.

Now there is a huge debate over whether it is ideal to return home by train or bus. There were no train lines running to Tehatta, and one bus at least was part of the entire journey of each one of us. But beyond Krishnanagar, the debate intensified. I had found that catching a bus allowed you to relax and enjoy a far more airy journey, even if it didn’t save a lot of time. On the other hand, the proponents of buses constantly complained that buses were riskier, wasted more time and were less comfortable compared to trains. Their arguments regarding time I accept, but the rest ?

I mean, compared to the hard-plastic seats of the trains, you’d be far better off even on the narrow seats of the average long-distance bus. And if you were lucky to catch a government bus, you’d have a large single seat to share with your co-passengers. Unless you were traveling with someone the girth of me (no comments please), you’d have plenty of space even if you were travelling on the middle seat. Also, the buses had seats all facing in the direction of the bus, and on average, the windows were larger than those on the trains. So it was a far more comfortable journey in terms of ambient temperature, even if you spent a substantial part standing.

How did I realize all this ? Courtesy of another subset of my colleagues. These were the people who lived closer to Tehatta than I did, and found it more convenient to travel by bus than train because trains would usually force them to catch another toto or bus to reach home. Over time, I realized that once you got a seat on the bus, there would be –

a.       No one standing in front of you

b.       No one asking you to give more space

c.       A window near you, even if you weren’t on the window seat

d.       Emptier aisles due to longer distances between stops

e.       Lesser babies (I have a personal dislike of screaming babies on public transport).

Exceptions existed, and more than once I had to take a bus at 6 in the evening, hanging onto the second step and waiting desperately for Phulia to arrive so I could get some space to stand. Then again, there were days when parents encouraged kids to puke so they could have seats. Urggghh!

But within six months of joining Tehatta, I had moved from the Hazarduari to local trains and then to buses. Starting out with some variant of the Gouranga from Pantha Tirtha, I would reach Kolkata within 4 hours. Combined with the one-hour bus ride to Krishnanagar (Pantha Tirtha lies on Krishnanagar’s stretch of the National Highway), this made for a full five hours of travel. Could I save half to one hour using the train? Yes, but why should I ? I’d rather prefer to come home at 9 than at 8:30, because, you know, I don’t have a wife yet.

Eventually, things got into a rhythm. I learned that there was one special bus that ran from Mayapur to Kolkata, carrying all sorts of devout and almost bald people. This bus stopped at Pantha Tirtha but you really had to run in order to catch it. And catch it we did, including the times when you had to throw the cash into the toto driver’s hand and run to the bus before it left.

And then there was of course, the legendary direct bus. I’d been told that such a bus existed, but I hadn’t believed such rumours. Until I saw it myself. A CTC bus (now CSTC), this ran from Karimpur to Kolkata, with a half hour stop at Pantha Tirtha. Once you caught it and got a seat (usually not before Krishnanagar), a Rs. 100 ticket would get you directly to Baguiati. In other words, the multi-stage five hour journey was melded into a single one, and you didn’t have to worry about getting seats again and again. Also, since each change of vehicle introduced another element of delay and uncertainty, this bus was the most direct and time-saving solution I could find, even though it didn’t save a lot of time over the trains on the days when the trains ran on time.

But this essay isn’t simply a long story about how I got from one vehicle to another. That would be immensely boring, and also would tell only half the story. Hence, I would leave out the running over the tracks to catch the train or toto, the endless waiting when trains came late and the smart tricks I learned for getting seats on trains and buses (beyond the ones I’ve mentioned). Instead, let’s talk of what the journey meant to me.

For one thing, it meant going home. The journey was long, and thinking about going home all this time could be a bit of a bore. So, I had to think of other things, and not ones that I would do when I actually got home. Instead, I would look at the rapidly darkening horizon and the houses beside the highway (or the tracks). What did I think?

I wondered what those people were up to. Most of them would have smaller worlds, ones which did not include much beyond their own homes. I had learned that the farther you went from cities, the more the people became localized, rooted to their homes and localities in ways that would be unimaginable to city folk. In cities, you are constantly on the move. I myself have lived in half a dozen cities, and more houses than I can bother to count. But these people have lived in the same region for generations. Women would marry and move to the husband’s house, and then that would become their permanent place of residence. Women worked much less than men, so these places would grow on them till they became the homes with which they identified themselves. Men on the other hand, would work some distance away from their homes. On rare occasions, these would be large cities like Kolkata, but would more often be the surrounding areas. There they would have networks of relatives and friends who would be interested in specific things. Discussions would revolve around the local, with some amounts of the national and even the international thrown in. But their worlds would be small, tidy and with a finite set of concerns.

Then there were the people idling during the beautiful red evenings. I had been one of them myself during my younger days. I wasn’t usually idling so much as playing something. As the sun’s warmth reduced, we would descend on the grounds and play cricket, badminton and whatnot. We would play and chat and laugh as the evening moved from the light yellow to the inkish black, before heading in and doing such boring things as homework. And think of how we would play again, in school the next day and in the evening, at home.

Maybe the people I saw had such thoughts. I knew for a fact that people in the villages had a far greater love of sports. This was necessary for basic survival, and also because a lot of the jobs they sought – police, ITBP, etc – required a high level of physical fitness. Sometimes I wished I could join them. Surely they would play better than me, and would have some choice slang for my lack of skill. But that would still make my happy, for I would be going back to my days in school.

I also saw people sitting and chatting on rooftops. Sometimes they would be drinking tea, sometimes playing badminton. They were usually girls, but I saw a fair number of boys too. I knew that these people had probably woken up from a refreshing sleep, and were planning on spending a lazy evening before heading in and preparing for the next day. They had their own worlds, and in their worlds, work and play were all close at hand. They were inextricable parts of daily life, not sacrificed to one another on the altars of unemployment or workaholism. Maybe it was not so rosy after all. But when the sun’s fading glow takes you back decades, things do appear rosy from a CTC bus’s window.

Did I feel sorry for myself? I wouldn’t use the word sorry, for it would mean that I wasn’t happy where I was. Yes, I did yearn for the simpler life, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t want to be where I actually was. For I was going home after having worked, worked honestly and well. I don’t know about other people who work, but for me, going home after work is extremely satisfying. It seems to give me a sense of pride and a right to sit on the seat I am on at the moment. I know that even if I didn’t do anything, I could still take the ride if I paid. But I was going back after doing what society expected me to do. I could hold my head high and relax, and know that I was a contributing member of society.

Beyond that, there was also the feeling summarized by Robert Frost in his poem. Yes, I was going home, but it wasn’t exactly round the bend. Instead, there were miles to go, both literally and figuratively. I would pass across various areas – villages, towns, cities – on my way and maybe I’d get down and change my vehicle along the way. I would interact, very briefly and only in passing – but I would interact all the same and when I did, that would also be part of the overall journey. I was doing what had to be done, and whatever the problems and impediments, I would get home after doing my work. Many would baulk at the prospect, but not me. What I was doing was glorious.

All of this begs the question though – did I like the prospect of making the journey ? Considering it from the Kolkata at-home perspective, probably not. There were too many variables on that journey, and even one of them could serious fuck up the whole journey. What had been anticipated as a comfortable reminiscence of existence would turn into a desperate shoving game for an hour or more. What had been anticipated as a journey to an evening cup of tea would become one to a very late dinner. Above all, what had been anticipated as a relaxing journey may well turn into an exhausting one, both mentally and physically.

Yet all considered, I didn’t regret the journey while on the journey. You could say I didn’t have a choice, but I have seen enough people bitching about the journey they make to know that a lot of people would very much prefer if they didn’t have to travel to work at all. For me, travelling to work has always been part of the work itself. Tehatta was no exception, and while I’m happy that the journey is behind me, I can also say that all that time travelling taught me a lot about life – and reminiscing about life – that I would otherwise have learned.

A Developed Utopia

We love comforting narratives that instill in us a sense of schadenfreude, especially the type that tell us that we are doing better than the ones we don’t like. Maybe not a whole lot better, and maybe the guys we dislike are still way ahead of us. But we still tend to take pleasure in thinking they aren’t doing that great right now, and we are.

This is the familiar narrative that the China-India economic competition has fallen into. Time was when we used to look the other way when questions of Chinese economic growth came up. Both the countries were growing, but one was growing steadily and had a head start. You’d say that was India based on history, but it was really China. In fact, ever since the reforms that occurred roughly around the time of Tiananmen Square, their economy has been growing rapidly.

Gone were the days of Mao, when the peasant was all that was there to China. Within decades, this peasant utopia had transformed itself into the manufacturing hub of the world. Countries,  ranging from the US to even India, outsourced their production to China. Initially it was just the small and simple stuff – nuts and bolts if you like – that came from China. The Chinese picked up the tab themselves, eventually manufacturing such stuff themselves and pushing it into other emerging markets like India, Indonesia, Vietnam and others.

Those were the days when you would disparage Chinese goods for their poor quality and still lower pricing. But India is famous for lapping up anything that is cheap, regardless of what it may do for competitors’ pockets or their own health. So we lapped up all the Chinese “branded” – fake branded that is – flashlights, toys, plastic equipment and so on. These were things India could easily make, but we simply preferred to import from China, often through dubious routes through Nepal and the North-East.

Over time, the orders from international buyers grew, including the humble ordinary Indian, and China could afford to upgrade its know-how. It began making motherboards, chipsets, sophisticated electronics and so on. For Western countries, initially. Then, as would be inevitable, it began making these on its own. Manufacturers like Foxconn, which produced goods for Motorola and Samsung, began to produce goods for Chinese startups like Huawei, Xiaomi, Oppo, and so on. I’m naming only smartphone companies here because they seem to be the most glamorous, but this know-how has spread to virtually every part of the manufacturing sphere.

Over time, this ensured that China was able to generate a steady income and produce more and more jobs for its humungous population. Along with its one-child policy, this ensured that support for the Communist regime survived, along with hundreds of people who lived on meagre wages. Sweatshops became a special feature, though even here change was apparent. Wages rose, the state gradually began regulating the market. Despite the significant leeway that the Chinese government still provided (including subsidies), these ensured that living standards rose and prosperity grew.

It also meant production costs went up. China was faced with the problem of ensuring that the market continued to expand at the same click while wages and prices rose. This was inevitable, since every developing country in the world has gone through this phase. For some, like Germany, this process meant imperial expansion leading to the First World War. For others, like the US, this meant indirectly colonizing an entire hemisphere and ensuring that any government remotely freedom-loving was crushed and replaced by a pliant military junta.

But China did not have such possibilities. For one, whereas Germany and the US had risen to power at a time when the world itself was undergoing the Industrial Revolution, China had come to the market at a time when these countries were already way ahead. In a way, the countries of the West offloaded their problems to China, and China was eager to lap it all up. Now China was faced with the same problems, and it had no one to offload them to. Or so it seems.

You see, we haven’t talked of India yet. What did India do? India followed a socialist model that had the unique capacity of ensuring a basic standard of living for everyone while putting the onus of ensuring this on the state instead of the market. The state would provide all the subsidies and rations needed for the poor to survive, while sustaining the complex and difficult economy that ensured these very people didn’t get the jobs that would make them self-reliant. You could argue that self-reliant people aren’t always well-fed, or happy, or in any way at an optimal level of existence. But they don’t depend on the state for everything, especially when the state itself is capricious and corrupt.

In structural terms, India followed what is called an Import Substitution Model. It meant that India would ensure it produced as much of everything as possible and so remove the colonial dependence on foreign imports. This was something it shared with China. Neither country had been especially favourably treated by the West, and even though India didn’t have a Communist government, it still had to go through the nightmare of the PL-480 scheme. So India sought to produce everything, with mixed results. In case of agriculture, the Green Revolution ensured – and still ensures – such economically unviable schemes as the Mid-day Meal and rice at Rs.2/kg. Food security became a reality, even if the mix of nutrients wasn’t always optimal.

But when it came to manufacturing, there was no industrial revolution. India focused on big industry, and state industry, and the two became one. So large steel plants, coal factories, dams and suchlike began to dot the Indian landscape, creating jobs for thousands but also  ensuring that vital manufacturing sectors like consumer goods, remained untapped.

It is said that if you sow the wind, you reap the storm. It is a Chinese proverb and India learnt it the hard way. Today we have a world-class heavy manufacturing industry, from cars to other equipment. These are exported the world over. So are foodgrains and meats, especially beef. But what about other goods? Consumer goods manufactured initially by small enterprises with low levels of sophistication and later followed by larger ones like the Chinese smartphone giants?

This hasn’t come to pass. We can and do manufacture the small goods – I’m talking flashlights and batteries again – but we haven’t managed to leverage the labour potential to develop sophisticated industries. Whereas China’s mix of primary and secondary sector has steadily moved towards the latter, we have had a more dubious record. Since the liberalization, we have managed to move towards the tertiary or service sector but the manufacturing sector has been neglected. IT companies have become all the rage, but the basic fundamentals of manufacturing have grown at rates that may best be described as the Hindu rate of growth.

Given this situation, our per capita income has shown improvement, but not so much on the back of manufacturing as the Chinese economy. With agriculture once again showing signs of stagnating, and the service sector capable of generating only so many jobs, there is still plenty of space that can be utilized for the manufacturing sector.

This has led to some ironical developments. About a decade back, Indian smartphone companies entered the market. The likes of Micromax set the market ablaze by cutting down on margins and of course, sourcing all their stuff from China. In case of one company – Lava – this became so obvious that tech review companies openly called the models by their own Chinese names rather than the rebranded ones Lava used. All of this made perfect sense. India did not have the ecosystem needed to make sophisticated electronics, but a market ready to consume some. Where do you go ? China of course.

But now the reverse is happening. Chinese companies, with far greater experience and patent portfolios, are moving into the Indian market. Despite the patriotic whining that we see from some quarters, it is all too obvious that the Chinese are looking for new markets given the increasing saturation of Western markets, and India provides one. They keep prices cheap, features rich and durability low. Indians lap it all up.

But there has also been a greater structural shift. Chinese companies have begun manufacturing in India, using Indian labour. This is not to say they manufacture everything. A good amount is imported, and a good amount is assembled. But still, manufacturing plants are being opened by the likes of Xiaomi and Foxconn. Beyond obvious PR value, this has an important implication – Chinese companies are doing what Indians, for all their import substitution, failed to do – utilize Indian labour in sophisticated sectors of manufacturing.

Today, this makes good economic sense for Chinese companies. Rather than import from China, they can make the phones at far lower cost in India itself and ensure a greater chunk of the still growing Indian market. This is vital to the Chinese, because as I have pointed out, they face the challenge of finding new markets at a time when their own labour’s wages and costs are going north. Made in India is becoming cheaper than Made in China.

Chinese tapping of our demographic dividend in the sector the Indian government has long championed as leading to self-sufficiency may be somewhat bemusing. But it has important lessons. For one, it is clear that structurally, the Indian and Chinese markets are at vastly different positions. The Chinese market is nearing the point where it makes the jump from developing to developed. As ambitious schemes such as the One Belt One Road scheme suggest, the Chinese today have the financial muscle and technical know-how, not to mention international clout, to push through grand schemes. This becomes important because their core sector – manufacturing – has taken them as far as it possibly can, and structural shifts are needed. These could be afforded by offloading some of the manufacturing to less developed countries – such as India – while keeping the more sophisticated and higher-paying tech jobs.

Remember Japan ? The country began modernizing in the late 19th Century and by the 1950s, had reached a similar point. Its manufacturing prowess was no longer capable of sustaining it. So it shifted to research and higher-end jobs while offloading actual manufacturing to South Korea. This fueled Korea’s growth as a manufacturing centre, eventually giving rise to such tech giants as LG and Samsung.

But the China-India story is not so simple. Remember that India already has a well-developed tech sector, and would come up with her own tech solutions. Already, there is some amount of research into manufacturing processes taking place in India, and it is bound to grow. China can never be so sure that India would stick to the lower end of the spectrum.

But such schadenfreude should still not be comforting. Inevitably, the Chinese dragon would slow down and run out of gas. Offloading and international partnerships would help it chug along for a while, but the slowdown is inevitable. When that happens, China will be faced with the prospect of moving to higher levels of manufacturing and research – including the tertiary sector – with probably lesser jobs than what manufacturing could provide. This would again create the problem of demographic dividend, one that China never managed to solve fully anyway. At such a juncture, China would begin to face the problems of developed countries – low economic growth, specialization into few fields, a weakening and increasingly outsourced manufacturing sector, growing unemployment and eventually, a large number of old people who fueled China’s growth during the boom years and would now demand sustenance in old age. If it can undergo the transition to a specialized, finance-centric and research-centric developed economy, China will thrive. If it can’t, it’ll end up in the infamous depressions that gripped the Asian tigers in the 1990s.

If this is what developed China would look like, what about India? India would get a chunk of the jobs the Chinese can no longer sustain, and probably the know-how to obtain some more jobs. Maybe it will begin exporting more goods, and get more FDI and FII. But would it be enough to push India to the position China finds itself in?

No. China grew through a painful process of learning and picking up where others left off. India will not get the same opportunities of learning and working, simply became the global economy is increasingly becoming conservative. China’s formative period didn’t include crippling recessions and protectionist policies like those of Donald Trump. Neither did they include credit crunches and downsizing of the type we see today.

So we will have to chart a different path to becoming a developed economy. We will have to find jobs for the secondary sector while ensuring that the primary sector gradually becomes leaner but also more productive. We will have to ensure that we get the know-how while developing our own capabilities. These capabilities include simpler laws, easier access to credit, greater infrastructure and so on. This would fuel both FDI and also domestic growth, which today can often be interconnected. Finally, we will have to give up the dream of a tertiary-sector driven economy and understand that this sector can at best be the handmaiden, not the queen. It will grow, but it too will have to become more focused upon developing the other two sectors than outsourcing to US companies.

If we can do all this, we can also reach the position China finds itself in today. Is it a happy destination? No destination in economics is happy, and in that sense, seeing a developed economy as a happy one is utopian. However, if we can get where China is today, we can at least have greater GDP, better per capita income, more access to basic services and healthcare and a society less dependent on the caprices of the state. The demographic problem will still not be solved, but we would have utilized a significant chunk of the dividend that exists today. At that juncture, maybe we would be able to solve the problems China faces today in our own way, in a different global economic scenario. Or we may not, and would sink into depression and eventual economic contraction.

But we have to get to where China is first. And for that, we have many miles to go.

The Road Out of Tehatta – Part V – The Roads That Be – Part I – The Journey To

Remember the part where I had fantasied about living a life alone, in a city with a small  apartment to call my own ? How it’d somehow seemed inspired from Camus ? Well, Camus also wrote about the protagonist, Mersault, heading off on a long bus  ride to his destination. There was little description of the bus  ride itself, except that perhaps it was dusty and hot, and the guy would have dozed off and woken up wondering if the ride was over yet. He would have perhaps made good use of the few stops  that the bus made, refilling on water and what few snacks were available.  He would have also wondered if he was getting late, and thought “fuck that” and would have dozed off again. But the dozing off would not have been comfortable because the guy next to him would  have hogged the space, and the poor protagonist would have been slipping off the seat again and again. And when he reached, he would be a quarter tired, a quarter rested, and half wondering what he would have to do next.

Actually, Camus didn’t elaborate at all. Mersault got on a bus, dozed off and got down.  That’s all there is to the bus ride. Given Camus’ style of writing, it is perhaps not surprising. But that doesn’t stop me from daydreaming here, sitting in front of the computer with a bottle of beer and the task of penning down all I know and felt during my days in Tehatta. But why do I bring this up ? Because before today, I had so often juxtaposed my own experiences onto Mersault’s none too memorable bus ride. But unlike Mersault, long bus rides had become a far more integral part of my life.

As I have mentioned before, the ride to Tehatta is a multi-part affair, with each part lending its own characteristic flavor to the whole affair. More importantly, there are few parts where it is mandatory to take a single mode of transport time and again, though it is very likely that you’d develop your own preferences. Also, within a single mode of transport – it is extremely likely that you’d develop a favorite bus or train, and stick with it over the jibes of your colleagues and the curses of your own body.

But where do I begin now ? Do I provide a chronological list of experiences beginning with me setting out, and ending when I reached (and the reverse during the return journey) ? Or do I take a more hazy  approach to things, letting my mind wander to whatever good memories come along ? Perhaps the historian should follow the timeline strictly. In  this history of my Tehatta though, I don’t want to be a professional. Let me wander, and bear with me as I do.

Early mornings have never been exactly romantic moments for me. Back when I was in school, it meant getting ready and getting through the gate before the gate closed. During my Tehatta days, it inevitably meant balancing a grumpy body with the uber-professional drivers of the Ola  cab service that I used to get to the Kolkata railway station. More than once, I would take too much time doing something and end up  with a cancelled trip.

But more than the incessant fear of cancellations and problems, what I would regret more is that I never got the “heading away from home” feeling. Instead, all I felt was that that day I would probably have to deal with all the problems I’d left behind in Tehatta the last time around, the classes I would take, and the journey itself.

Ola journeys occurring in the timespan of a dozen to a dozen and half minutes aren’t meant to be very memorable. Neither are the endless rushes that I forced upon myself, running across the overbridge like a madman and cursing the Maitri Express for always hogging the first platform. But there was always one pause – a pause that I took even on the last day – the one to get a newspaper. To say that I am an addict of newspapers would be wrong, since many a day passes when I’m at home with newspapers right in the next room and I couldn’t be bothered to open them up. Yet there is something about train journeys that suggest opening a newspaper (“like a Sir’) and reading on your way to work. It just seemed right. So right in fact that regardless of the newspaper concerned, my knowledge of world affairs would inevitably be updated every time I went to Tehatta.

Having verified my name from the passenger list, I would quickly board the train, take my  seat and begin reading. I had a fascination for window seats, and would not part with them for my life. I still don’t, though now things are mainly limited to buses. The train would pull out, and I would be on my way.

Let the train ride speak for itself…..courtesy my lens

Two hours and some change later, I would be running down the platform (or up the platform) to get through the overbridge and board a toto for the bus stand. In  the final months, I’d realized that I was  exiting through the wrong gate. Safety be damned, the right exit required crossing in front of the train and if it meant less wait time, I would do it.

At the end of the toto ride, I was at the bus stop.  The new bus stop to be exact, since there was an old one as well. This new bus stop attracted people heading up the Karimpur, Kanainagar Ghat, Patikabari Ghat, Hridaypur,  Maheshnagar and Palashipara bus routes. You’d be accosted by bus conductors looking to overstuff their buses before heading out. I’d been warned not to take these buses even though they may save some time. Instead, I would head to the right counter and get my ticket.

Though this wasn’t without its problems. As I’d mentioned, the first time I’d gone to Tehatta, I’d been accompanied by a person working at my father’s office. The second time though, I was completely on my own. In other words, I had to choose my bus on my own and do so with precision. Now I’d been told that there are two major types of buses – the Patikabari type bus and the Karimpur type bus. Further, each type was divided into the Super bus, and the slower “route” bus. The best case scenario was to get hold of a Karimpur super and head out, being sure of reaching Tehatta PWD more (or PW more as it is actually called) in a little over an hour.

But for this I had to know which bus would go to Karimpur. I learnt that the first counter was for Patikabari buses, while the second catered to Karimpur buses (and various other categories, which I learnt later). I went to the counter and asked “Karimpur ?”, the way you ask a city bus in Kolkata whether it would go to Kasba.

The guy nodded, and told another – “একটা করিমপুর কাট” Looking at me, he said – “৫০ টাকা দেন ”। I was quite unpleasantly surprised,  since I knew the fare was a rather odd 28 rupees. I verified and was told that I had heard correctly. I bought the ticket, and headed up the vehicle’s  stairs, preparing to take my allotted seat.

For some reason, I felt that I should have asked about Tehatta specifically. Who knows how many interweaving roads there are ? Every road that goes to Karimpur may, after all, not take me to Tehatta. The previous journey had persuaded me that getting down in the middle of the journey would be akin to getting down amidst jute fields and brick manufacturing units. Needless to say, I wanted to be absolutely sure that I was jumping onto the right bus.

So I went back and asked – “দাদা, এটা তেহট্ট যাবে তো ?”

The guy was greatly surprised – “আপনি তো বললেন করিমপুর, এখন বলছেন তেহট্ট ?”

I was getting pretty concerned by now. Had I bought the ticket to a Karimpur bound non-Tehatta bus ?

“আমি তেহট্টই যাব। পি ডাবলু ডি মোর।“

“তা বলবেন তো।“

I returned my ticket and was issued a new one, with the balance between 50 and 28 rupees. I was finally sure that I was actually headed to Tehatta.

Back in hindsight, I realise that I had fretted over nothing. The route connecting Karimpur and Krishnanagar was the state highway, with buses being unable and unwilling to navigate any deviations. Hence, the road would inevitably have led me to Tehatta. In fact, barring the Hridaypur and Mahesnagar routes,  all the bus routes passed through Tehatta.

In fact, over time I decided that the Karimpur buses were probably not the best. You’d ask – what do I mean by best ? I can’t exactly say, but one criterion that came to my mind was the amount of space in the overhead bin. Now overhead bin is a term borrowed from airlines, and I should really speak of the overhead rack. This criterion persuaded me that it’d be better to take the Kanainagar Ghat bus called Radhagobindo. Or maybe it was called Chandrayan. The former was emblazoned on its side while the latter was at the front. I shall never know. Anyhow I always called it Radhagobindo because that was what the tickets said.

Now I’ve talked about the formation of preferences. Overtime, reservations in the 2S sections of the Hazarduari became a preference. As did the Radhagobindo. So much so that I would regularly inform my girlfriend (now my ex) that I’d successfully managed to board the Radhagobindo. If I did not, she was mortally worried about me, inquiring whether I had actually managed to catch a bus at all.

Interior of venerable Radhagobindo bus

Over time the conductors and the driver of the bus came to recognize me. True to my nature, I never bothered to find out their names, or what they did apart from running the bus. This was a part of my life that was purely instrumental, and I would have little use of the information even if I obtained it. Looking back though, those faces should have had names attached to them. My memories would somehow be incomplete without that information, as I realized on the last trip. But could I, a regular for over a year and a half, ask without shame the names of those whom I’d come to form a friendly – albeit cynically pragmatic – relationship ? The names remain unknown to me, and the memories therefore incomplete.

Yet these guys – whom I knew as the short one with a balding plate, the taller one and the “others” – showed me a good deal of regard. More than once they would go out of their way to arrange a seat for me when I arrived late and the bus was already about to leave. On the days I turned up early though, I would seek out the red and gold bus and find its personnel. These personnel could be doing anything from taking a leak to having their breakfast. Yet when they turned up I would be waiting for them. After a few months, I no longer needed to tell them where I would go.

Instead, I would simply fish out my wallet while approaching the bus, locate the conductor and hand him the cash. If I was the first, he would carefully inscribe the ticket with religious symbols and text before writing the seat number and the fare amount. Then he would respectfully touch the ticket to his forehead before giving it to me. It was, for the professional of the bus, a small expression of piety and hope that the journey would go well, that perhaps enough money would be earned and the roads would treat them well. They had chosen the fast life on the high roads, and knew the risks. This was the small -and perhaps only real protection – they could muster for the journey ahead.

Even if I did not know the name of the person in front of me, I have kept some of those tickets with me. These shall form proud markers of the unique relationship that I came to had with the bus named Radhagobindo and its attendants.

One of the “first” tickets that I was lucky enough to get!

This relationship extended to favourable seats. Indian buses are notorious for not providing every seat with equal access to window real estate. For the Radhagobindo, this discrimination ensured that the seats 1, 4, 6 and 8 had the greatest access. Indeed, these were the only ones where the seats corresponded to the entirety of a window. I would usually get 6 or 8. On the last day, I got the first ticket, and it was an 8. Again, a memory I shall cherish.

Now came the actual journey. When I’d extrapolated my own ideas onto Mersault, I had done so based on solid experience. Or to put it more aptly – bumpy, state highway grade experience. You see, Indians have a single solution to all the woes that befall riders on the highway. This solution is called the speed breaker, or as we all call it, the bumper. As the number of accidents on the  highway rose, so did the number of bumpers. In fact, a single town on the route – Chapra – had at least 5-6 bumpers. One of my colleagues had calculated the bumpers as anywhere between 30-33, and this only covered the part of the road up to Tehatta.

The result of this was that I had to constantly bounce on my seat as I headed into Tehatta. But strangely, the person who could not sleep on trains and in cars learnt to sleep on that bumpy ride. Occasionally, this meant headbutting the seat or some part of the window and waking up with a painful reminder that I was in fact, on a bus.

Despite these “hazards” though, the ride soon became one of the major ways in which I could rejuvenate myself while on the road. If I got the window seat, this was not very difficult, since the person sitting next to me would inevitably act as a barrier against my falling off. But when I was the one getting the aisle seat, dreams would more often be broken by the strange feeling of being launched into mid-air. Moments later, I was scrambling to maintain my hold on the seat and not to land up in the aisle.

Yet sleep I did, on the dusty roads that led to Tehatta. When I did not, I knew exactly which stop was coming. I never got down at any of them, though eventually fear of having to disembark at one of the more nondescript stops was suppressed. Despite this pragmatic aloofness, I had memorized the people who got on, and the actual appearance of that place.

For instance, I knew that a lot of people who got on at Krishnanagar would get down at Chapra. These would include some schoolgirls and schoolboys, some professionals working in various government jobs (including teachers of the govt. college there), and students returning from tuitions with little intention of actually attending the college.

Also, I knew that at Sonpukur and Maliapota, a lot of schoolgirls would get on, getting down at Taranipur. Again, I never bothered to find out what the school was, and whether any of the girls studying there eventually came to our college. But the very look of the place told me that the bus would suddenly light up with the chatter of a number of young girls. What they talked about – I wasn’t interested in. But the fact that they came and got down ensured that I had a human GPS system working for me, without having to fish out my phone.

In fact, over time I memorized the type of people and the landmarks associated with each of the stops that I went through. While it would be of no interest to the reader, I cannot let this information be lost!

Stop Landmarks People
Ghurni (ঘূর্ণি) A lot of totos and a merger of two roads coming into Krishnanagar with a bust of some important person in between.
Dayerbazar (দইয়েরবাজার) A school that was quite old.  The bus would stop in front of the school right on the bumper there. Mostly students.
Seemanagar (সীমানগর) A BSF camp with the 1st Battalion (and two more). This region was somewhat forested, though why only this region was forested was beyond me. That said, the presence of trees gave a temporary impression of having been taken to a hill station or being enroute to one. Military personnel
Chapra Srinagar More (চাপড়া শ্রীনগর মোড় ) The most important of the landmarks, with a huge number of people disembarking here. I had learnt that if we moved towards the border from here, we would eventually reach the Chapra Govt College Various
Chapra Bazar (চাপড়া বাজার) Literally the bazar. Also the place to meet if you’re planning on getting anything from the Chatro Sathi book house in Chapra. Various
Chapra Bangalchi More (চাপড়া ব্যাঙালচী মোড় ) The Bangalchi college was nearby. Also, the place served as a propaganda centre for shows involving Bangladeshi B-grade actors and performers Various
Choto Andulia (ছোট আন্দুলীয়া) I’m not sure this was a proper stop, but people did get down here. Also, you learned about this place from the various bank office boards. Various
Hatra Bazar (হাটরা বাজার) Smaller than either Tehatta or Chapra, this was probably the middle point of the journey (or felt like it). Various (with preponderance of young and studious types).
Bada Andulia (বড় আন্দুলীয়া) More schools, including one with what looked like a green burial epitaph that had been made part of the school wall Students and various
Sonpukur (সোনপুকুর) Another school, plus a church and a ground with a statue of Christ Various
Maliapota (মালিয়াপোতা) Nothing notable, except a single big green cross in a field. I have speculated that it is probably a grave, but have not been able to verify. Schools and some cool dudes who hang around the girls’ schools
Taranipur ( তরণীপুর ) A huge green mosque-type structure with a huge field in front of it. During winters it hosts local cricket matches and football matches, or both in tandem. Also, home to the Pathariaghata-2 Block Trinamul Office and the office of a certain Dr.  A Khan. Various, but including many schoolgirls with a blue and white uniform
Baliura ( বালিউরা) A building that may have been a school, or an office, at some time. It is now no longer in use, and looms like a relic from a bygone era – perhaps an era of glory for Baliura. Also, there is a ghat where people bathe, and where I was confident the buses would end up someday given their propensity for high stakes racing. Beginning of the riverside stretch of the road. Hardly anyone gets down here, or gets up from here for that matter. Buses often don’t bother to stop at all. I suspect this place is haunted at odd hours.
Tehatta PWD More (so known for the PWD offices located nearby) My stop. Approach marked by the river on  the left, a petrol pump and a small temple on the right All people associated with Tehatta and the college. In other words, the people who matter.
Tehatta Howlia More ( হাউলিয়া মোড়) My other stop. The one I took when I had to go to my camp before heading to college. Various, including some of my students.

 

The last part of my epic journey to the glorious land of Tehatta was a toto ride. Unlike the very professional, almost autorickshaw-like mentality of the Krishnanagar toto drivers, here you could have your way if you were insistent enough. As it happened, I didn’t bother being insistent and so ended up taking a Tehatta tour each day before reaching college. The tour would include trips to various schools, the occasional visit to the ghat and most often, the correctional home located on the outskirts of Tehatta.

Finally, after about five hours on the road (and rail), a turn on the Boyerbanda road would reveal the gate of my college. Depending on the month, either of the gates would be open and I would hop down, pay the amount I felt was right (which could vary between 10 and 20 rupees depending on the extra passengers picked up/dropped en route) and head in.

The journey to Tehatta Government College was complete.

The Road Out of Tehatta – Part IV – The Professional Life

Now that I’ve harangued about my personal life and its comforts and discomforts, let me talk about the professional part of my existence. This was the part for which I was paid by the government (literally) and was also the part which allowed me to live my life with dignity. The dignity of a teacher in a remote town of West Bengal.

As the regular reader of my blog (a fictional character I’m sure) would surely know, this wasn’t my first job as a teacher, but it was my first job as an Assistant Professor. In other words, this was my first permanent job with the full pay. Other than that, my duties were pretty much expected to be the same. After all, I’d already been a fruitful member of staff of Bhawanipur Educational Society College (BESC) for over half a year. How hard could Tehatta be ?

Pretty hard. At least that was my impression initially. Unlike the rather well-equipped college that I’d left, Tehatta literally had empty halls and emptier staff rolls. The college, from what I gleaned initially, had about half a dozen academic staff and about half that number of non-academic staff. This included the guards who doubled up as Group-C staff, Group-D staff who also doubled up as Group C staff, and a couple of group B staffers approaching superannuation.

The department itself had only one teacher apart from me, and thankfully, he took his job seriously. As such, the department was rather well run when I arrived, and with just one academic batch to teach, the course was also chugging along. As it turned out though, my department was somewhat lucky in having a teacher who had some experience. Others were completely staffed by new folks, many of whom joined within days or weeks of my joining. By late January our teaching strength had grown to about 10, two in each department, plus the Officer-in-Charge.

It is not my intention to detail all the classes I took or all the academic or non academic responsibilities I undertook. That would be the domain of a service book or a CAS report, neither of which should find a place on a personal blog like this one. What I’ll instead talk about is the very experience of working in a place unlike any I’d worked in before.

How was it unique ? I’ve already noted the staff crunch. Another problem was the location of the college. We proudly declared that the college was nestled “in the lap of nature, beside the beautiful river Jalangi” and forgot to mention that it was on the outskirts of even Tehatta in a place called Khaspur. Even the regulars of Tehatta didn’t wish to go there, and we were regularly charged extra by the e-rickshaws (or totos or tuktukis). We also didn’t mention that the college had practically nothing except grain and jute fields all around and barring a single tea shack ( which grew to two tea shacks by the time I left) there was little by way of refreshment. The college building itself was also modest – a two storey building that boasted of fresh paint and empty halls. Another building – the canteen and Students’ Room complex – would not become functional until the very last days of my stay in Tehatta.

Now to be fair, it had been worse. Among the first to join the college was the Officer in Charge or OIC, and he fondly recalled the days when he had to sit on the stairs of the latter building because the former was still under construction. I’d heard from my Head of Department how totos flatly refused to go to the college in the initial days, forcing teachers to undertake long negotiations. Food was in eternal short supply and initially, many had to skirt the river bank in order to go to the haat bazaar proper and get a meal.

But the most difficult – and urgent – task was handling the department. Despite the yeoman duty my HOD had undertaken prior to my arrival, there simply wasn’t enough in the department to run one. For one, there were no books available, and none would become available until some months later. Once they did, they could not be given out because the accession numbers had to be added first and no one amongst us knew how to add them. Needless to say, we didn’t have a librarian at hand to do the work.

But this problem was somewhat mitigated by the enthusiasm of the students. In Bhawanipur, I’d met students who had been all too seeped in the capitalist culture and considered education another marketable commodity in which their parents were investing. It would be far fetched to argue that the students of Tehatta were the  polar opposite, treating education as some sort of sacred duty. No, they also sought jobs, and education for them was also a means of getting them. Why else would subjects with less employability – like political science – get less applications while history was flooded with them ?

But there was one crucial difference. Students who came to study at the college came from backgrounds more diverse than can be listed here. However, many of them undertook substantial trouble just to turn up and study. They had to schedule their work (and almost all of them worked) to ensure that they had enough time to attend college (and tuitions, argh!) In some cases, they also had to cycle substantial distances before they could turn up to attend college. Last but not least, college for them wasn’t about freedom and enjoyment, but getting a degree which would get them somewhere in life. They took college more seriously than did the spoilt brats of BESC.

Teaching them therefore was somewhat easier. There were more inquisitive glances and less indiscipline than in BESC,  and this made life easier. I was teaching in Bengali for the first time in my life, and mistakes were inevitable. A time came when the students were correcting my language and I was appreciating it and improving myself. Note however that such correction was always in a respectful manner.

Again, the students had little to do in college other than to attend classes. Hence, only those who genuinely wished to attend classes came to college. This meant that the more unruly elements dropped out gradually and simply stopped coming. Despite our attempts to ensure attendance, there was little we could do to stop them, and this ensured that the class gradually came to be composed of more and more diligent students.

In all, I got to teach only two batches, one for one and a half years and the other for a year. Yet within that time, I tried and understood what their needs were, often through inputs by the students themselves. Demands for everything, from additional classes to even tests, were frequent. Whereas in city colleges the students shied away from the idea of a test, here I was actually asked to take tests and announce results early. This I did, and the response was something anyone, even a university teacher, would probably appreciate.

But it was not just the students who shaped my life at Tehatta Government College, though they proved to be the majoritarian influence. The other part of my life involved my colleagues. In BESC I’d found good people, but people who had become used to getting things done through staff and various committees. This allowed them to delegate work and somewhat inhibited their ability to learn the nitty gritty of running a college.

Tehatta however, had no staff to speak of and the committees were basically me and my colleagues. Inevitably, we had to cooperate and learn from whatever sources we could use. In doing so, we found out more about the way a college works than perhaps many learn in their entire careers. For instance, we learned how to fill out stock books and go through the complexities of admission. We learned how to create contingency lists and put up tender notices.

Most importantly however, we learned how to cooperate with each other. This is something some people never learn, doing what little they are asked to do and expecting the rest to adjust. If this was the attitude of even one person in Tehatta, the college would have been in the doldrums. However, we somehow, found it in us to work with each other and give 110% each time, reaching out over our own metaphorical cubicles without bumping anybody. Meetings were cordial, short and fruitful. Every moment spent in the committees ensured that we learned more and got to know each other better, thus becoming better colleagues and more efficient educational administrators.

But life went beyond committees too. There were the informal spaces within the formal space of the staff room, and here too, Tehatta shone. Most of us were young, and those who were not weren’t particularly averse to joining us youthful folks. From our relationships to the stupidities of our student days, we managed to discuss everything without ever feeling self-conscious or embarrassed. We could talk about each other’s shortcomings in front of each other, and no one would be offended. We could even have little wrestling matches when we felt like it, with (thankfully) no damage to college property.

Outside the staff room, we managed to mingle and play (literally) in the field. More than one winter afternoon was spent playing badminton or fooling around with a football. It helped that we had amongst us star players who could teach us a thing or two while thoroughly enjoying themselves.

The greatest banter was of course reserved for the convivial parties we had at night. You see, it was (and is) mandatory for government employees to attend college on a bandh day. So whenever a bandh was declared, we had to arrive the day earlier, or stay on an extra day (if the bandh day was our P-day). This inevitably meant that the night before the bandh day was one when many of us stayed in Tehatta, including those who normally did not. Since the vast majority of the teachers were male and young, it made sense to gather at one’s place and have a common meal.

While we could easily have arranged for someone to cook our food or even brought food from outside, here again we chose to cook ourselves. Apart from the small financial gain we had in cooking our own food, we also got the benefit of having food cooked by our colleague-chefs. We had so many of them (I wasn’t one of them unfortunately, though I aspired to be one), that each gathering had a different primary cook and a different primary dish. True that this dish was some variant of chicken curry, but it tasted different each time, and that was part of the fun.

Of course, when we speak of our colleagues and friends, there are things that cannot be put into writing, lest they become controversial. Tehatta was no different, though I can say that most controversies were resolved with remarkable amity, allowing us to continue working with each other the way we had before.

So, in hindsight, I can say that Tehatta taught me more than I could have hoped for. It wasn’t the cakewalk that some had predicted based on the small number of students, but it was also not the hell that many cityfolk had thought a mofussil college would be. One reason for this was of course, the fact that the students proved to be more sincere and hardworking than any I’ve seen  in the city. Another reason was the excellent set of teachers who managed to sink differences and work together in a way that helped all without burdening anyone. In doing so, the students and teachers taught me more than what I would have learned had I directly jumped from BESC to another city college, or even an established college in a remote region.

These lessons shall remain, even as the students and staff move on, and Tehatta itself moves farther and farther away from what I knew it to be. It would not be hyperbole to say that of the three places where I’ve taught till date, Tehatta Government College taught me more than any other, and for this, and for the great times I had with students and my colleagues, I shall always be thankful.

Au revoir!

(I’d have loved to add photos of the staff and students. However, while I realize that they share the same sentiments towards me as I do towards them, it is never wise to put up pictures of people without their permission. Also, the photos on this blog are downloadable and I wouldn’t want their photos to be misused just because of my sentimentality. Hence, where photos were the most called for, there will just be blocks and blocks of text.)

The Road Out of Tehatta – Part III – Surviving Away From Home

I’d said at the end of the last segment that I would stop giving a day to day narrative and focus on some specific things that I did, saw or had done to/for me. One such thing, which actually involved practically everything I did there, was surviving away from home. You see, unlike a lot of people who get their first taste of life away from home in the heady days of college (and write extensive eulogies later), I had no desire of living away from my parents as a student. Neither did I later, or now for that matter. So was it forced upon me ?

Yes, but it was also something that ignited some ideas I had about living away from home. What were these ideas ? I’d imagined myself (as I explained earlier),  that I had wanted to live in a city in a small apartment of my own. I had probably also mentioned that I wanted to stand on the balcony and take in the evening air with a cigarette in hand and the neon lights of the night for company. There would be some beer on hand, a cool breeze in the air and thoughts of home, hope and perseverance in my mind. That would be something now.

All of this had taken a somewhat concrete shape in my early days in Tehatta courtesy of my buying a book that is not famous for describing life away from home. It was Camus’ The Outsider , a book about not belonging anywhere and not feeling what society wishes you to feel. Yet in those days what struck me was the fact that the protagonist lived in a small flat by himself in a non-descript part of Algiers, working hard but also trying to enjoy the few moments he had available. His home had a bed, some place for cooking perhaps and a balcony. I imagined yellow walls, a small bedside table maybe, and a central table where I would sit and work (or drink) to my heart’s content.

Instead, as I mentioned earlier, I had gotten hold of some prime rental property on the ground floor. So there would be no view from above, but there would be plenty of bugs, dampness and perhaps some flooding (none occurred, thankfully). It would however also be cool in summer, which would help a little when the dreaded loadsheddding occurred. I also had a house that was too big for my needs.

There was a kitchen space, a dining area, two rooms and a bathroom. Overall, this would make for a rather cozy but none too large home for a couple with a child (or two rather young children). For me though, it was a huge space with which I had no idea what I would do.

Initially, I had started out with a bed, an office table (the same model that my college used, and perhaps the only one available in that size in Tehatta), and some utensils and bathing equipment. My goal was to create a living space that would mirror my preferences – simple, efficient and easy to maintain. To this end, I arranged everything beautifully, at arm’s reach, assuming that I would regularly stay and clean things.

As it turned out, this was a mid-winter’s dream. As long as winter prevailed, things would work out well with what I had. As soon as February hit, I had to get hold of a fan. The fan I did get was a poor excuse of a Bajaj Panther, though it called itself so and claimed a mighty warranty. Within days, the fan began to dance like a possessed spirit, making crackling sounds that kept me awake at night, googling videos of watermelons being sliced off by falling ceiling fans. Needless to say, I dared not keep the fans at full speed anytime during night or day. Also needless to say, the combined effect was not exactly refreshing for body and soul.

Complaints led to the mechanic, a muscular guy who claimed to hail from Ranaghat (he gave me this information with a touch of pride for some reason), resulted in some Tehatta treatment. The guy observed the fan trying to give up its ghost, pranced onto the camp bed and landed a couple of mighty blows to the central wheel. The crackling sounds died out, for exactly forty-eight hours. The next time I complained, he simply asked me to claim the warranty.

The other thing that I got hold of though, and which served me far better than the fan, was a tubelight. I’d thought of surviving with the largest and highest wattage LED lamp I could find. Turned out, it was too much and given that it was a single point rather than an elongated object, hurt my eyes. The tubelight gave the home a more traditional feel, and allowed me to imagine (once more) that I was setting up a home away from home.

Except I wasn’t. If I had, the title of this piece would have been A Home Away From Home. The reason it isn’t so is because I hardly lived in it. My routine was such that I actually spent no more than two (or at most three) nights a week in Tehatta,  and that was excluding any holidays that I may have availed from time to time. This ensured that I didn’t so much live in Tehatta as camp there. And after a while, that’s what I started calling it – camp.

Another reason for this shift of nomenclature was the pathetic job of home maintenance that I did. For want of a maid, my home enjoyed a weekly dry sweep (jharu) without a wet sweep (poccha). This ensured on one hand that I soon had a raging spider infestation all over the house, and also that the floor steadily became more and more rough and unpleasant to walk upon. Utensils that I used came down to the absolute minimum and ensured that the others were given over to cobwebs, lizard shit and plain ol’ dust. The sphere within which I lived and didn’t have to deal with the insect ecosystem steadily shrunk until I was defending the little space I required to clean the utensils, the bedroom and the part of the bathroom I actually used.

Each time I returned after a couple of days in Kolkata (and I ensured it wasn’t shorter than that), I would have to settle down and promptly begin cleaning. Even the once-a-week cleaning ritual would take time, since it was after all, once a week. Also, much to my chagrin, the assortment of spiders that had begun to call my camp their home, proved extremely resilient to all forms of disinfectant. Things reached a head when a large wolf spider turned up and had to be exterminated by a combination of phenyl and other corrosive disinfectants. Scars of the battle are permanently etched in the form of a large phenyl stain in the washbasin.

The wolf spider, despite being the most alarming, was hardly the only creature, or the only large spider for that matter, that I had to deal with. Once I returned to use the bucket, only to find a large spider crawling out of the mug. Another time, a frog got in and had to be scooped up and removed with the dustpan. Frogs are remarkably immune to sharp pan edges and jump off the pan the moment you start moving or raising it. Even at the threshold, I had to spend nearly a quarter of an hour trying to push it over the edge (literally!)

As all this would have made patent, my dreams of setting up my home away from home were fast dissolving in pungent phenyl, exhausting brooming rituals and very soon, a sinister one involving a fly broom being jabbed at thin air just as the evening set in. All of this was to ensure that the spiders didn’t encroach further on my lebensraum. But inevitably they did, and the war of attrition continued.

Matters weren’t helped by the fact that the location ensured that I could not keep the windows open at night while I slept. This turned my bedroom into a sauna sans the steam, and my body into a big slab of flesh being baked on low heat. The fan, as you’d expect, didn’t help matters. Neither did the fact that the bed itself was gradually developing its own unique concept of curvature. Given enough time, it would have taken the shape of a convex parabola, putting my head and feet at a distinct disadvantage compared to my torso.

Last but not least, there was the food problem, which deserves a book of its own. You see, initially I had planned to live off the land, or the “hotels”, as was actually the case. In the early days, this meant going to the Maa Durga hotel and eating twice a day. Then I began to pack the dinner in a tiffin box after I’d had my lunch. Problem was, the hotel was really far away from my camp,  and hotfooting in the Tehatta sun to have a meal and hotfooting it back was really not my cup of tea. Further, packing lunch in the afternoon to have it in the night inevitably carried the risk of spoilage. As I learned one night over uncannily tangy fare, the summer would not tolerate this little convenience. True, there were roll shops and more than once I would simply head out and get a roll or Mughlai paratha for the night. But the food was incredibly spicy and oily and wouldn’t do my stomach any favours.

By this time, the more enterprising folks in my college had arranged for a certain Bappa Hotel to deliver food in the afternoon. Bappa proved to be standard hotel fare – spicy and extremely sparing when it came to anything beyond lentils and the cheapest of vegetables. However, it also proved to be rather late in arriving, the delivery boy (really the owner of the hotel himself and really a rather middle-aged man) apologizing with all 32 teeth before repeating the performance the very next day.

However, the smiling assassin of schedules and appetites also offered to deliver food home. He apparently delivered to high officials like the BDO of Tehatta, and wanted to add another feather to his I-deliver-to-camping-government-officials cap. He also wanted to lobby for the canteen at a time when the very idea of setting up a canteen had not been mooted. To both ends, he began to deliver food at half past eight to half past nine, provided I informed him latest by the early evening.

This would have worked fine, and for my colleagues, it did. However, geography played truant, again. You see, my colleagues lived near the hotel, while I lived far away. For all his boasts about delivering to the BDO, it seemed he was less interested in delivering to me. The result was that on more than one night, I had to face an irate landlady wondering when she could close the gate.

In keeping with the minimalism that had become my motto in Tehatta, I decided to fall back upon what I could make on my own. This basically came down to

a.       Cup noodles

b.       Eggs

I was already having a combination of eggs, cup noodles and bananas for breakfast. I extended it to dinner, such that for a time my dinner became boiled eggs and cup noodles in boiling water. This too would have worked out, but for the fact that I had to consume multiple cups to satiate the rats in my belly (a good ol’ Bengali metaphor). Also, boiling eggs in the electric kettle wasn’t the safest of things to do with kettles.

So by the time my first year in Tehatta neared its end, I was bogged down by multiple inefficiencies, which were taking a toll on my preparedness for dealing with college and the long road home. After some intensive lobbying on my part and overriding the argument that I may “soon” get through to a CSC college (actually I did over eight months later), I persuaded my parents to visit Tehatta again. This was November of 2016, and my parents chose to club the visit with a pilgrimage to Nabadwip, one which I did not partake in. Anyhow, they brought with them a new fan, another mattress (toshok, not godi), and most vitally, an induction cooker and its attendant utensils. By this time I had lost all hope of ever turning camp into a second home, and chose to fix only what had to be fixed. However, the fixing also included a mop and a bucket for the poccha that I’d so diligently avoided till date.

Life after the visit became far more comfortable. Even as winter gradually made the fan unnecessary for a while, it proved to be a boon in the summer months that I had to stay there. The geometric aspirations of my camp bed were stalled by the mattress and the mop gave my war against the arachnids a fresh lease of life. I could now roam about the house without constantly worrying about cobwebs and sleep with greater access to air circulation and a more naturally-curved spine.

Most importantly (and I can’t stress this enough), the induction cooker made life a lot easier. I quickly shifted from boiling eggs in the kettle to frying them in the pan. This simple and fast recipe allowed me to create such culinary monstrosities as a huge circular block of fried egg which I called egg parantha. As I was promptly told, an egg parantha wasn’t what I’d wrought, but even such cooked food tasted heavenly.

Further, in what turned out to be the last stage of fooding evolution, I began to purchase ready-to-eat meals. These had to be heated in water, and given my phobia of being drenched in boiling water, took a lot more time than the eggwork. Yet it gave me hot meals that had some semblance to what a real dinner would look like. I could finally have a delicious meal and go to sleep contentedly on a comfortable bed, in a comfortable room with good air circulation.

No doubt this situation would have changed again in the future. I was already planning on doing some actual cooking, including preparing rice by myself. Given the gradual mastery I was attaining over the induction cooker, this was not as unrealistic as it may have been at the start of my life in Tehatta. I may also have come up with some recipes of my own, things that would involve eggs, bananas and myriad other things that I hadn’t even thought of yet.

 

But as with everything in life, the ready to eat meals proved to be the last stage of my camp life. As I was attaining mastery over these tools  and recipes in March of this year, I was also running around CSC offices inquiring about the state of my interview recommendation. As regular classes dissolved, my camp life shrank. With the interview in late April and the appointment soon after, I knew I was never going back to living in Tehatta the way I’d become used to over the past year and a half.

But Tehatta wouldn’t go out without one last hurrah. In late May, as my rounds of Bikash Bhavan became ever more frequent and I spent virtually all my spare time in Kolkata, the question of  whether I would pay the rent for June came up. It was decided that I wouldn’t. Instead, I would stay over for a night, pack things up and then load them up into a small truck that would be sent for me.

That night, I skipped the sweeping, but was true to my cooking. For one last time in Tehatta, I prepared eggs and a ready to eat meal, and dined on the plates that had gradually fallen into disuse over the past two months. It was nothing special, and far from anything extraordinary. For really, shifting from one way of fooding to another, and sleeping on hard beds with shoddy fans hardly constituted anything glorious in the grand scheme of things.

Fare for the last night!

Yet it did mark the end of a period where I had constantly adjusted, improvised and persevered. It was indeed the first time in my life that I’d been away from home, and sans the training of friends or hostels, I’d succeeded in living on my own terms. Perhaps the home had become a camp, and I’d had to do a thousand things that could have been avoided in hindsight. Perhaps I was more terrified and arrogant and careless at the same time of things that would not have scared someone else – of things that wouldn’t scare me today. But that maturity had to be earned, and I could only earn that if I did what I did – I survived.

 

The Road Out of Tehatta – Part II – Meanings II

 

Once I’d “settled into” my guest room, it was time to eat. Remember the part of the dream where I would smoke and drink ? It also included buying packaged food and heating/cooking it at home. As evening grew into night, this part bit the dust.

I’d been acquainted with a restaurant about a mile away from where I lived. Around 8:30pm in the evening, I headed out, locking up the room carefully. The cooperative was deserted by this time, giving me the eerie feeling of being literally in a ghost town. The road leading to the restaurant (really the ghat, but I learnt that later) was also semi-deserted and many shops were shutting down. Coming from a city that doesn’t sleep at least till midnight, this was both a surprise and a worry.

Now let me get some things about Tehatta restaurants – and “mofussil” restaurants in general – out of the way. One, they call themselves hotels. Places with the critical component of real hotels – staying rooms – call themselves lodges and guest houses. The twain generally do not meet (I can recall only one example of a hotel providing living quarters – the one at Pantha Tirtha in Krishnanagar).

Secondly, they serve a set meal, with additions based on your choices. Think of it as a Zinger Meal, in which you can throw in additional items with a markup each time. Here, however, the basic meal consisted of daal (with the consistency of swamp water), spicy veg curry and an assortment of fries (potato fries, kochu fries, corolla fries, etc etc.). You could even get some chutnee on occasion. The additions included fish, eggs, chicken (on occasion) and double helpings of the non-veg parts. Base price Rs. 45. With Egg – Rs 55, With Fish – Rs. 60, with chicken Rs. 70. With mutton (rarely) Rs. 100.

In those early days I didn’t have the confidence of dealing with spicy non-veg dishes,  and stuck to the basic veg menu. Out of pity perhaps, I was given some additional fries every time. And for some reason (hopefully not pity), they always referred to me as “Sir”. This, as you’d have guessed, was also not among the Dickensian touches I’d have liked to my fantasy.

The remainder of the day – or night – passed uneventfully. Getting up the next day, I made a shopping list of things I’d need. It was winter, and one of the first things I’d need would be a heater. Also, the bucket. Extension cords, some snacks and real estate renting research. For all this, I’d need money.

One good thing about Tehatta was the large amount of financial institutions it had. There was the State Bank, Allahabad Bank, Canara Bank and United Bank of India. Then there were the ATMs – three of SBI, one of the other banks (except UBI). Now my salary from BESC had been credited to Uco Bank, so it really didn’t matter which ATM I used. After a heart-stopping moment when the Diebold (yep, that’s the name) machine simply stopped making any noise while coughing up my money, I had the cash to get the necessities.

I got hold all the things, except the bucket. While shopping for key rings (an added item), I was helpfully told about the possibility of a house being available for rent. After lunch, the shopkeeper and I set off to see the place that would eventually become my “camp” for most of my time in Tehatta. That done, I went back, rested, then set out and “booked” the bucket on my way to the hotel. On  the way back, I picked up my first steel bucket and clanged it back to the guest house. I fancied myself a lone silhouette on a dark road, walking home wearily, bucket in hand. It’d have been unconventional, no ?

The next day, I went to the college again. The OIC had turned up, as had the half a dozen teachers who had joined before me. Two were quite senior, the others roundabout my age,  and with as much experience as me. The staff room, even with the teachers in it, was rather empty. I’d come from a staff room where taking any chair from its place elicited loud complaints from the person who sat there, and his/her entire clique. Here, you could simply sit in any chair and not be disturbed at all. Even better, the chairs were the padded swivelling type that are usually reserved for dignitaries and corporate officials.

Beyond submitting my joining papers, I had little else to do, so I decided to head back to Kolkata as soon as the situation allowed. For one, I was running out of clean clothes. For another, I was already yearning for the comfort of my bed, the convenience of having things handed to you instead of going out and buying them, and above all, the familiarity of the city. I wanted more adventure, just not now.

The details of the journey will be covered in a piece dedicated to the journeys. For now, let me just add that I submitted my salary papers on the way  at Krishnanagar and then took the train home. My first tryst with Tehatta was over.

Over the next couple of weeks, I got to know the students better, met my HOD and chatted over a variety of things, and finally, finalized the house. Amidst it all, I got a call from my ex-girlfriend informing me that the MPhil form-fillup deadline was approaching, and I should move fast. You’d think I’d rush to complete the formalities, when actually, I’d decided that MPhil could wait. I probably wouldn’t be able to complete my MPhil staying in Tehatta. And even if I did, I wouldn’t do a good job.

Two hours of consultation with my parents later, it was time for a mea culpa on my part. I called the official who dealt with these things, learnt that the deadline was nearly over, and then called my caretaker. He politely told me that he would be up, and even if he wasn’t, I wouldn’t have any problems leaving.

Hectic packing and little sleep later, I was off at seven to a place called Howlia More. Before you point it you, I’d tell you that I’ve already exhausted the wordplay associated with the name. I could say, for instance, that the wind was howling as I headed into Howlia on the morning of 15th December 2015. I could also say that my soul was howling at the thought of navigating my way back from Tehatta to Kolkata for only the second time, and in a way that would allow me to reach before the university closed for the day.

Fancy language and self-doubt in tow, I found a bus and headed towards Krishnanagar. With the wind really howling now (the conductor insisted on keeping at least one window open), we whizzed past the countryside and reached Krishnanagar. Turns out, there was a Sealdah local due in just a while, and even more fortunately, the crowd wasn’t exactly WWE grade. I reached Kolkata around 1, and three hours of cross-Kolkata rushing about later, had submitted the form.

Yet this wasn’t the last screw up of the year. On the last day – 21st of December – we had the annual sports day. Given that I had just joined and had no role, all I had to do was turn up for the day and watch. Sadly, due to a particularly bad train journey, my feet refused to cooperate. The result was more tense moments, followed by a whole week in bed with Amazon providing me the books I needed to pass the MPhil coursework exam. Staying under blankets for a whole week while studying and sipping unhealthy amounts of coffee is a good thing. In excess quantity really.

I won’t go into the other anxieties related to getting my salary started, getting through coursework exams with the college session in full flow and the other issues that plagued my early months. After all, I’ve titled this piece “Meanings” and not “Anxieties of a New Job”. Instead, I’d go into the remaining one year of Tehatta with a more “general” approach than a narrative one, hoping – as ever – that I piss off as few people as possible.

The Road Out of Tehatta – Part I – Meanings I

 

Transitions are full of meanings, and most of them are inferred in retrospect. Some of these meanings are really the ones you wish to use, while others follow them. Still others are created by those around you, creating sense of what you are doing in their own ways. This is not to say that they have nefarious goals, or any goals for that matter. They may just want to make sense of something through their own worldview. And so you have endless meanings, refined and distilled and remixed until you have a coherent narrative that suits everyone and maybe, even you.

Tehatta is one such narrative. More to the point, leaving Tehatta is. What is this narrative ? To put it in brief, it speaks of a boy from a sheltered background who  was sent off to a far off place and managed to get back to Kolkata. In doing so, he ensured that he could do his research, teach at a good institution and generally become part of city life once again. Tehatta was a blip, and now it is over. Aritra is back where he belongs.

That’s the story I seem to subscribe to as well. Yes, I have come from a sheltered background who had no idea about life outside cities and towns. Yes, I had always sought to leave Tehatta because at the end of the day the city was where I belonged and where I felt comfortable. And also yes, one and a half years can be taken as a blip when you think of the 25 odd years you have lived and the years that you will, hopefully, live.

But if I were to simply accept this prima facie, there would be a lot that would be left unsaid. And if there’s one thing I have learned, a good amount of what constitutes memory requires stimulation to bring to the fore after a point of time. So, in order to bring out what Tehatta meant for me, and what coming back to Kolkata means, I will write a series of articles. Some with pictures. The articles will not be pieces worth reading, simply because they aren’t meant for any audience in particular. The pictures won’t be works of art, because they reflect everyday life, which isn’t a work of art. And above all, all of this won’t be written with a specific goal or a point to prove, because life is more about living than proving anything to anyone.

Philosophy and disclaimer done, the autobiography begins.

So let’s go back to the point where I got the job and the posting to Tehatta. Months of waiting amid shrill warnings about postings in strange-sounding places ended in December 2015 when I finally got my appointment letter. It was one of the first times (second actually) that I had gone to Bikash Bhavan, and naively I expected a lot more advice from the staff there. All I was told was, it’s a place in Nadia district and not a bad place at all.

It’d have been fine if I’d taught at a run-of-the-mill college in Kolkata, but where I had taught was BESC, which was average with a lot of pretensions. So much so that people were actually quite surprised I would leave their college for a place like Tehatta (even when they knew that a contractual job was nothing compared to a government job – and a substantial one).

Anyhow, a little research told me that it was about 142 km from Kolkata and would take approximately 3 hours to get there. This would prove to be quite optimistic, since the average time taken was closer to 5. Also, the place wasn’t exactly a city, though it was close to becoming a town. Again, this proved to be optimistic, but I’ll get to it later.

Finally, I was told that given the distance, I would probably have to live there. And here is where the meaning of the posting really sank in. For one thing, this would be my first full salary job, as against the guest lecturerships and contractual jobs I’d held earlier (one of each, so the plurals aren’t justified). I’d finally be considered, in American terms, a “tenured” assistant professor and wouldn’t have to depend on the whims of HODs and whatever the fuck was the name of the head of the institution (Principal ? Teacher in Charge ? Rector ?).

More importantly, I’d  be living on my own. From childhood, I’d always dreamt of living on my own, with a job and a comfortable home. “On my own”, of course, precluded wife and kids, and usually involved a small house with a single room , a bathroom and kitchen and sometimes, a balcony. I’d stay up late smoking and having the occasional drink, I’d head out with friends and think about life, and above all, would know what I was and what I could do. I’d be, to repeat a cliché, be a man.

A man in a city with neon lights and easily accessible resources. Food, clothes, etc etc. Perhaps not a ton of money, or else where would be the fun in discovering what working life meant. But some money yeah. Slumming isn’t exactly an ideal outside communist circles you know.

Arriving in Tehatta, the first thing I had to cross out was, you guessed it, the city. The website had described it as scenic (or was it picturesque ?), and scenic it was. With as little human habitation around as could possibly be. The building itself was brand new, the gate was a sorry agglomeration of cement and brick, and signs of life mimicked Chernobyl.

I’d talked to two teachers, the HODs of History and English, before turning up, and had brought the documents necessary. But the OIC (officer-in-charge, get ready for a lot of acronyms) wasn’t there. The next day was a holiday, so I’d have to stay on at least for three days. In the time, I could do two things – get to know the college better, and find someplace to stay.

The first proved to be a rather short experience. The entire college – both floors – had little signs of life. Whereas I’d come from colleges where you’d have to navigate crowds of students to get anywhere, here the halls were empty. There were no sounds of laughter, of chattering youth, of music blaring from an audiophile’s speakers. Neither were the desks written over,  or the blackboards much abused, nor the walls showing any signs of wear and tear. It was all new, and deserted. I told myself that this was just the beginning, that one day these halls would be bustling with students and teachers would actually be asking them to keep the volume low. But I asked myself – would I be there to see this ?

I remember my first class, in Room No 3. For those who have studied in Presidency, the room has special significance. It was – and is – the signature room of the History Department. To be asked to take a class in a room of the same number seemed to hold a special significance. What ? I don’t know, but it stuck with me.

The class itself had very poor attendance. Honours classes are notorious for this, but only four (or was it five) students was a low for a first class. A few introductions later, I had marked the attendance and had left. It was time to find a place to stay.

I’d been accompanied by a man from my father’s office who knew the environs of Tehatta somewhat better. He also knew a person at the local office. Through their joint efforts, I got hold of a room at the local cooperative guest house. Or as it is called, Tehatta-I Block Cooperative Society. The guest house was the first floor of the building housing the society offices, and also the society godowns. So as I settled in, the sound of trucks coming and dumping all sorts of produce became commonplace.

I requested my companion to return, since Tehatta was my place of posting and for better or worse, the sooner I got to know it on my terms, the better. I’d brought clothing  and other necessities with me, and once I’d set up a half-decent living space, it was time to clean oneself. The bathrooms were common, akin to the ones I’d seen in hostels I’d visited, never lived in and heartily despised. But again, these were empty since the other rooms were unoccupied.

Once I’d navigated the complex mechanisms of drawing water (a switch that was followed by a blast of ice cold water), keeping my belongings (wallet, spectacles and keys on a single soap rack) and the yoga associated with answering nature’s call (they call it Indian style for a reason I think), I had some major epiphanies. One, I’d need a bucket of my own. Two, I’d need a bathroom of my own. Three, the two could only be combined if I had a place of my own.

Music and the Stereotypes of Pain 

Linkin Park is coming out with another album. Like every time, I’m eagerly following the developments, including the release of singles that would eventually be part of the entire album. And like every time, I’m comparing the tracks with what we know to be LP. Or think we do. Because this time they’ve released tracks that don’t seem like LP, don’t feel like LP, and include a female “feat.” Did LP too give in to the pop/rap or nothing phenomenon or are we too addicted to knowing a certain screaming Chester Bennigton ? Both maybe, but what is certain is that these tracks are a good point to look back on what I, as an individual, connected with. I connected with the idea of pain and bitterness that the music seemed to express. And like everything in life, it had its stereotypes.

Let’s fall back a little bit. I’m in Class VIII, in my final days in Meerut. I’ve just discovered the utility of cassettes, and have purchased, along with a lot of Bollywood music, two albums of LP – Reanimation and Meteora. Reanimation, as my 14-year old self didn’t realise, was a remix album. But Meteora was something different. As old timers will tell you, cassettes have the benefit of forcing you to listen to the same band for a substantial amount of time – time taken from the first song to the last. Yes, you can fast forward, but that’s as easy as dragging the FM frequency randomly and hoping you hit a station.

So here I was in Meerut, in the guesthouse called Ashiana. My parents were getting ready to move out of Meerut and to Delhi. Being of an age where you are always a hindrance but rarely useful, I had shut myself in my room and had Meteora for company. I had time on my hands, and a patient fascination for English music. Combined with a two-in-one cassette player (so called because it also had transistor radio), I spent no less than four to five hours simply listening to Meteora. One band, one album, four hours. Consider that this wasn’t music meant for me, suggested to me or even relating to me. It was probably meant for a late teen-young adult audience in the States that lived in conditions very different from mine.

But I connected. In those songs, I could relate my own bitterness, pain and sadness. And I could also realise that going through these things meant I was becoming something more. More than any Value Education class or bland sermon, I could feel the words become the theme song for my own angst and sorrow. And also the theme song for what I would like to do to get out of it all. But also the theme song for what I could do and would do. A band I’d never heard of before was singing about my life through a cassette player. And all I had to do was rock to the rhythm and it all related to me, inside my head.

Yes, I had felt Numb, yes I had felt it was Easier to Run. Yes I had felt each line burn and disappear, to be replaced by the next, which burned in turn. Events and developments flashed, along with fantastical ideas. Fantasy and reality were getting mixed up, but the reality of my pain was never lost. Even when I imagined myself in situations that weren’t real, I knew they were reflections of my actual pain and sadness. By thinking and feeling, imagining and jumping about like a madman, I was letting it out and introspecting. I would like to say that this made me a better, more mature individual, but I’m not sure I became that. I only realised my pain in a way that I had not before.

Needless to say, I was hooked to the music. In later years, these songs – and more from LP – became theme songs for various events and situations of my life. I clearly remember, as things went from bad to terrible before the Class X boards, I listened to Numb for hours on end. Even the video, and the characters in it, seemed to relate. Much later, songs like Leave Out All the Rest helped me contemplate what I may leave behind if I had to leave. Others spoke about feelings of betrayal, unfamiliarity and also, sometimes, the will to overcome it all.

But the music evolved. The screams and howls of Meteora were replaced by the more sedate but equally touching lyrics of Minutes to Midnight. Thousand Suns continued this, while the Hybrid theory series brought out the best of meaningful rap. The Hunting Party was different again, but again I could relate.

How did I do this ? In my mind, there was the image of a young boy – about 16 to 18 – take your pick – who was discovering the joys and sorrows of this world, and found that there was more to be sorrowful about. He wasn’t a particularly popular or noticeable person, he did not like to hang out with a lot of people. Yet in his head, it was all so colourful, but also so bitter. It was, in a way, the image of myself in the movie whose theme song was Meteora. For all the change in music, this didn’t change. And so I could relate.

But this year, they’re coming out with music that’s different. For the first time – at least as long as I remember – they’ve got a girl (Kiiara) singing along with them. They’ve got music that speaks of love, instead of the lonely pain they usually spoke of. They speak of strength and strength through bonding, whereas earlier it was more about rejection and backing off. All of this, somehow, confuses the kid in my head. Because that kid had little contact with girls, was an introvert and most of all, used LP to channelise his negative emotions.

But the person who thought it all up has also changed, and at first, it is tempting to just blame that. It is a grand thing to say I’ve become mature, only to prove to myself a thousand times that I haven’t. But somehow that kid isn’t all that is in my head anymore. Over the years, my tastes have mellowed. Whereas I would hungrily gobble down metal bands, I’ve increasingly moved to country, folk and even classical. I can’t explain why, but this music speaks to me too. LP has gradually lost some of its space, and that kid comes out less and less. Instead, other constructs fill my head, enjoying varieties of music which I could never have imagined in my teenage years.

But it’s not enough to say that I’m a different person. Because I still need to channelise pain and rejection. I still cry while covering my face with a pillow, I still feel like taking extreme steps to solve problems and I still am sensitive to efforts to exclude me from various groups. My character, with its flaws, has not been formatted and a new one installed. This is proved when I listen to old LP songs and can still relate. Given the chance, I would again listen for four or five hours to Meteora.

Then do I reject the new LP ? No, I allow myself to channelise pain using different metaphors. The songs still speak of pain, but that – as I have realised – is not purely negative. Amy MacDonald taught me that a girl’s song can be as much about you as about a girl. Feelings of love and affection – even carnal love – can coexist with feelings of bitterness. They don’t have to be antagonistic, they can simply coexist. Because you can hate and love at the same time, and music can express both.

Maybe, then, the kid who was the child of mine and Meteora’s has not only become less relevant, but also changed. Maybe he is not always a bitter kid anymore, but an individual who balances the bitterness with feelings that are positive, without trying to throw one at the other and see which breaks. Maybe he sometimes sings in a girl’s voice without fearing the loss of his manliness, realising that much of what humans go through applies to both genders and at the end of the day, there’s nothing to be had by being male in a predefined stereotype. Maybe he is not one person anymore, but a teenage kid, a more mature man and also a woman, all rolled into one. The person who lives them will probably never know.

This begs the question – how do we really feel and relate to pain ? Each song of the band will give its own answer, bringing out a different type of kid. Perhaps they’re all variants, perhaps they’re avatars moving from one to another. But if there’s one thing that keeps them together – relevant and in my head – it is that they help me express myself in a way I know I could never do on my own.

And that’s why I hope LP never stops singing.

One Indian Girl : Book Review

One of the saddest facts about my sad life is that I don’t read a lot of books. Ask anyone on the street whether this is indeed a sad thing, and they will definitely agree. Especially if you tend to hang around bespectacled folks who carry jholas and attend seminars. Another sad thing is that when I do get around to reading a book that has nothing to do with my subject (history, not gaming!), I can’t find the proper adjective to put before “review”. Maybe reading a few more books would have given me ideas. Ah well.
Anyhow, if there’s one exception to my sad state of existence, it is Chetan Bhagat. He and I go back a long way, back to my school days. It’s too late (2:30AM to be exact) and anyhow not the right blog post to discuss my long history of interaction with the man and his literature. What I do wish to discuss though, is a specific book called One Indian Girl.
Most book reviews would give a bit of background about what the book is all about, how it fits into the genre and the age and how Bhagat has been evolving. But let’s skip all that. Instead, let’s jump directly into what I found interesting and what I did not. Because, you know, context is boring.
To begin with, the author tries to break new territory by situating himself in the mind of a female protagonist. Bhagat’s stories tend to be in first-person singular (except the sex scenes, when things definitely go “weeeeee”), and writing in first person female singular is no mean task. For one thing, you have to deal with the stereotypes that already exist in your mind regarding the other sex. Next, breaking away from them inevitably leads you into the counter-stereotypes that are created by movements like feminism. Trying to balance the two requires research and a sympathetic understanding of the fact that men and women, equally, prone to being individuals with their own distinctive traits. And from there you can weave the world of your protagonist, its supporting cast, its flaws and glories, its plot and its twists, and so on.
I’ve faced this problem, though you, the reader, don’t need to know where or why. Suffice it to say that I stumbled at the point where the individual breaks out of the stereotype, and gains a life of her own. Bhagat insures against this by meticulously interviewing a number of women. Does he run surveys ? Nope. He simply goes after the women who are closest to him and gets information about their experiences.
This makes for two qualifications to whatever he may have gleaned. One, as the Marxists will tell you, is that Bhagat being a member of the upper middle class, would inevitably gather information from upper middle class women. This, however, is not a big stumbling block if you intend to write about middle class women. The second, and more problematic issue, is that women may not open up about things that they typically wont’ discuss with men. Okay, your wife or girlfriend might. But beyond them (and one or two very close female friends) most won’t be willing to talk so openly about “matters” as they would be willing to with a woman. Even if they wanted to. Why ? Because many such issues may be embarrassing, difficult or traumatic in a way that “only women would understand.”
Be that as it may, what does Bhagat achieve? His research leads him to craft a character called Radhika. She is a middle class Punjabi girl with a management background. In other words, she is the exact opposite of the protagonist of Five Point Someone, one who is as close to Bhagat in terms of existence as can be possible. This is a wise decision, since reducing the number of variables makes it easier to feel at one with the character you’re creating. It also allows him to claim that his work is a comparison of the different reactions that men and women face under similar circumstances. All this adds a modicum of credibility to the overall premise.
Moving from background to the actual events, though, raises some very important questions. Radhika is seen as an overachiever with very little social life and even lesser experience with men. That, prior to her bagging a prize job at Goldman Sachs and flying off to New York to smash the glass ceiling. Here we face the first problem. All of Bhagat’s stories have been based in India. Okay, so some parts of Three Mistakes of my life may have been situated outside, ditto with Half Girlfriend, but mostly it’s been India. This is important, since Indian readers, for all their love of the firang and the vilet, internalise Indians living in India  more than any NRIism.
Radhika, however, hardly ever returns to India.  When she does, she is completely cut off from Indian society. Yeah, so her mom keeps nagging her about marriage. And she has periodic complexes about her sister. But that’s it. You hardly hear of a single truly Indian character in India with whom Radhika interacts. This lack of an Indian setting threatens to turn the story into the equivalent of a Karan Johar film.
Beyond the risk of aloofness, this also raises the ghost of context. It’s no secret that Indian society doesn’t take kindly to its women. Naturally then, the impediments facing a girl in India would be much more than those facing one living in the States. At the same time, these would be experiences that Indian women would not want to open up about when speaking to a man (the point I made earlier). So could it be that Bhagat could not get the information about the problems faced by women in India from Indian women  ? Did this force him to locate the story in an exotic setting devoid of the various ills that plague Indian society ?
In fact, Bhagat’s use of society is sharply attenuated. Our protagonist goes through life without facing a single issue of sexual harassment, molestation, stalking or eve-teasing. Except for a rather blatant case of misogynism in the boardroom (which seems sort a face-saving gesture on the part of Bhagat), there is no trace of the problems faced by women, either in India or in the US. Hence, Radhika emerges as an equal of men in a manner that does not reflect actual society. This makes for comfortable reading for men (including myself) who are not affected by such issues, yet in hindsight Radhika does appear to much of a man in the eyes of society.
So what issues does she face ? The prime one, expectedly, is that of marriage. A nagging mother and an inherent sense of proving herself worthy of being a wife and a mother plague Radhika’s conscience (and phone calls). Her sister, as the arranged-marriage girl of the family, acts as a template which Radhika must follow regardless of what she achieves in her professional life. Failing to find love on her own eventually leads her to give in, which culminates in the plot finale.
A second issue is that of her physique. This issue is more easily solved and once she regularly has sex, her self-image improves. In fact, Bhagat is mature enough to show that with growing sexual maturity, she both realises the self-control required and also the pointlessness of the traditional mores of self-controlled chastity. What emerges is a pragmatic woman who knows what she wants out of sex, and is not afraid to ask (or gently force) her partner into cunnilingus. At the same time, she is ready to reciprocate and is open about her desires (or lack thereof) of sexual feelings at any given time. Bhagat, consciously or sub-consciously, breaks down what had turned into a criticism of his work – that his female characters tended to be one-trick ponies when it came to sex, being shy before seeking out sex and essentially letting men take control. (His last work, Half Girlfriend, broke this trend to some extent but only partially).
Another sign of maturity is his handling of sex scenes. Bhagat’s writing is not erotica, and he does not even try to step into the realm of female erotica. Despite this, his handling of the scenes is more mature and detailed. No longer are bed scenes put forth in the final paragraphs of a chapter and left hanging, the next chapter beginning at the end of the coital session. In OIG, Bhagat takes time and effort to describe foreplay and coitus. Most importantly, he uses this to show the character traits and sexual evolution of his protagonist. Given that the protagonist is female, this is all the more commendable.
The choice of lovers is less so. Both her lovers (and her arranged would-be-husband) are Indian, though they belong to three different communities. The surprising part is that barring the last, they are placed in foreign surroundings. Couldn’t Radhika have found love outside the subcontinental diaspora. Bhagat gives no plausible explanation for this, but one has to presume that with his prime character being a woman, it made sense for her to deal with Indian men, thus giving an element of familiarity. Also, perhaps, it would help assuage the Indian male ego!
Their behaviour, too, is somewhat predictable. Thankfully, here Bhagat makes the predictable work for him. Not unnaturally, Radhika seeks to be a wife and a mother. Her first lover (a Bengali, gah!) wishes her to be that, but without her job. Her second lover wishes her to be his lover, but not his wife or his kids’ mother. This contradiction, where being a wife and a working professional come into conflict, are borne out by the two relationships Radhika goes through. To Bhagat’s credit, she is shown to be sympathetic to both, and tries her best to salvage what she can. Yet she eventually has to walk away, either on her own or because she is pushed out.
This makes her realise that neither of the two aspects need contradict the other. More importantly, she realises that she need not put up a timeframe for marriage, and thus accept one or the other. This realisation dawns when she is preparing to marry her arranged groom, and both exes turn up to woo her back. Radhika eventually decides that ultimately, what women want is also categorised by men and given in pre-determined platters for them to accept. What she really wants, though, to combine all the different aspects of professional and personal life, is something no man could offer her at the moment. She follows through on her realisation.
The way Bhagat puts it across, as always, is mesmerising. Reading the book across two plane flights, I could not help but be struck by the sheer un-putdown-ability of the book. Till the very end, her dilemmas speak to you as if they were  your own. Without destroying the “her” in the protagonist, the author manages to put you in her shoes and conveys the confusions. Till the very end, you cannot decide what she would choose. The final decision may seem dramatic and a wee bit ridiculous, but it takes Bhagat to steer it away from the shores of both stereotypes and raw feminism towards the fabled isle of the perfect climax.
Yet even in all this, there is a minor gripe. Radhika seems to put her personal problems before her professional life, even though it is this professional life which she uses as a bargaining chip against marriage pressure. She changes jobs when one relationship sours, and it takes her bosses to keep her on the job. One can understand that bosses treat valuable employees with utmost care, but then who is she to treat her career in such cavalier fashion ? This, in fact, smacks more of elitism that anything else, since a middle class girl would never give up her job (unless pressurised by marriage, pressure which Radhika staunchly resists).
To conclude then, One Indian Girl ticks the usual boxes with panache. The storytelling is superb, the moral dilemmas and emotional problems are brought out and held together with superb skill and the ending is marvellous. Where he breaks new territory, the results are somewhat mixed. Radhika is a relatable character, her problems are very real and her solutions are human and commendable at the same time. But the societal problems faced by women are not highlighted. It is almost as if she does not want to tell me, the male reader, those problems lest I judge her. Again, the setting and her attitude to her job are distractions that try their hardest to break the connect the reader feels towards the protagonist. Bhagat manages to create a lively, courageous and lovable girl, but one in the wrong place and too few and too predictable scars.